Midnight Angel [Jenlisa FF]

~'~'~ Chapter 22 ~'~'~

"Everything will be fine. Lisa's friend will help, and he'll believe you're innocent," Jisoo tried to assure her. She just hoped she was right. Jennie was starting to look depressed, so Jisoo decided to change the subject. "So how are things with Lisa?" Unfortunately, the distraction tactic didn't work as well as she hoped. A dark, pensive look came over Jennie's face at the mention of Lisa.

"Fine," Jennie lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either.

Seeing through the deception, Jisoo eyed Jennie expectantly. When Jennie said nothing, Jisoo asked, "what's up?"

What exactly was the problem? Jennie thought to herself. She debated the issue for a moment, but she knew what the issue was. It was the past she couldn't get over. Standing, Jennie paced slowly around the room, wondering what to say to Jisoo. In the end, she settled on the truth. Maybe Jisoo could help her understand her feelings better.

"It's all so...confusing," Jennie settled on saying first.

"What is?"

Releasing a loud sigh, Jennie eased herself down onto the stool in front of one of the living room armchairs. She rested her arms on her thighs and leaned forward. "One minute, everything is normal, and me and Lisa are just two people. There's this..."

At Jennie's pause, Jisoo supplied the term for her. "Attraction?"

Attraction was a bit tame, Jennie said to herself, but yeah, that was it. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had these...feelings?" she asked, then didn't bother to let Jisoo answer. "Not since before...before the rape."

"Before all that happened," Jennie continued. "I had a crush on a new guy practically every two weeks. I wondered what it would be like to kiss them, to go out on dates, or if I would meet the guy who I'd want to...you know...with. And then after...after the rape, I couldn't think about those kinds of things without feeling sick to my stomach."

"That's completely normal, Jennie," Jisoo assured her. "You went through something utterly horrible, it's normal to have a fear of intimacy afterwards."

"I know," Jennie answered with a sigh. She did know that. She'd been told it numerous times. "But there are moments with Lisa when I wonder about kissing her, about other stuff. It's like the rape never happened."

"That's all you really are, when it comes down to it," said Jisoo in a rush. She hated seeing Jennie so conflicted. She couldn't even begin to image how hard all of this was for her.

"But were not!" Jennie exclaimed. "Sometimes, it seems like we are. But then last night...-"

"What happened last night? Did Lisa do something? If she did, I'll-."

"No!" Jennie hurried to correct Jisoo's line of thinking. "No, Lisa didn't do anything. It's me."

"What happened?" Jisoo asked again.

Jennie began explaining to Jisoo what had happened the night before, about how she'd been asleep when Lisa had come home from work and how she'd gone to look for her. "She was just getting out of the hot tub. All she had on was a swimsuit. And... God!"

"That good, huh?" Jisoo questioned after seeing the crimson blush creep up Jennie's face.

"You have no idea," Jennie replied with a shake of her head. "Like Goddess."

"So then what?" prodded Jisoo.

"I just stood there inside the kitchen, staring at her," Jennie went on. "And all these...these thoughts and feelings were running through me. About how gorgeous she was, about the water drops, about the firm abs, and about what a good girl she seemed to be."