The Hyper Fang That Shall Pierce The Heavens (Pokemon SI)

Chapter 6: Fire in my Pants

Which they were, already. But just not fast enough. Currently rattata's dodge rate was 30%. Good, but not usable yet, and the rat didn't quite know how to use the move and was just working off instinct. Joey assumed the move would come at 70%, and then need some practice, but he didn't know for sure.

What he did know was that the only remedy for failure was training. While it wasn't pleasant to essentially beat on his pokemon, it was working, and it was necessary. He wasn't inflicting any actual injuries and a few spritzes of a normal potion would set the rat right immediately after.

However, perhaps someone didn't share his opinion, or didn't understand that rattata was going through all of this voluntarily, because only a few minutes after starting the session, Joey found himself side-stepping a string-shot being sent directly at the arm holding the learning stick. Already quite used to dodging string shots from random trees in this particular clearing, Joey simply dodged the string, but watched as it flew forwards and was about to hit rattata right in the back of his head, only for the pokemon to dodge at the last second.

Joey suddenly received a revelation, right around the same time that he received a flying caterpie to the head. "Caterpiieeeee!!!" it screamed as it initiated the tackle from high up a tree. Joey, more by instinct than by conscious thought, let the distortion always tickling at the back of his mind suffuse his flesh and blood body and shift it to the other side. In other words, he went full ghost.

He watched semidetached as the bug flew right through the side of his head, and like the string shot earlier, was almost about to hit rattata. Only for his starter to jump out of the way, blind-fold and ear-plugs still firmly attached.

Joey shifted back as the caterpie roughly tumbled to a stop on the ground and shouted its name again, facing him. For some reason Joey got the impression that he was the villain in this story. He put up his hands, "I'm innocent, I swear," he said. But caterpie seemed to be a proponent of unnecessary police brutality and wanted him to stop resisting. At least that's what the next tackle, aimed right at Joey's crotch communicated. Joey shifted again, but this time he fell backwards into his own shadow, using it to travel to his starter, who had sat down again and seemed to be waiting for the next attack. Exiting his starter's shadows Joey needed to stay corporal to pull off his starter's blind-fold and ear-plugs with his right hand, while his left blocked another string-shot.

"Please tell our friend that what we were doing was just training, and that I'm not abusing you," Joey pleaded, before shadowing away from another tackle.

His starter nodded, misunderstood his command and quick attacked caterpie in the back as it was contracting its caterpillar-like body in preparation for another tackle. The bug pokemon was flung to the side by Joey's now quite decently strong starter and tumbled to a stop against a tree. It laboriously stood up, as much as a caterpie could stand up and turned to face rattata with tears in his eyes.

It was at this point that the two started having an actual conversation.

Joey didn't understand a single word, but decided to create a non-age appropriate translation.

The ghost energy was messing with his sense of humour.

"Caterpie, pie, pie!?" (Why are you defending that monster. He was abusing you!)

"Rattata, ttata, ta, ra!" (It was consensual, you just don't understand our love!)

"Ca, ter, pie!" (BDSM is a fetish grounded in sexism. The unhealthy power dynamics it creates in the erotic context inevitably spill over into the rest of the relationship, shifting it towards something horrible and exploitative. Don't go down that path, I implore you)