He's Making it Uncomfortable

Nothing Would Ever Be The Same

The drive away from Minburi filled Tutor's car with uncomfortable silence. He had a lot of thinking to do. Tutor realized overthinking got him into this mess and the irony wasn't lost on him. His brain would always be the problem. Shutting off his mouth instead of saying what was needed. Staying prudent when all it did was just complicate life. 

But he needed his brain to truly work this time. Not just say NO YES or whatever it was doing lately. First he knew a few things were true. He liked kissing Yim. There it was. Finally he was letting his brain be honest. Sloppy kisses, overzealous hands, when their teeth gnashed together. The whole mess, he still liked it. Honestly he had some of the worst kisses of his life with Yim and they were still the best. 

He liked it when Yim was so happy to be around him. Aside from Tutor's looks he knew people could just be bored or downright exasperated with him. He wasn't the easiest conversationalist. He would rather just let others enjoy talking and having fun and that made him happy. Or so he thought. But Yim truly looked forward to whatever Tutor would say. He actually looked forward, moved his whole body to try to listen. With wide open eyes, Yim would even move his chair just to face closer to him. It made Tutor feel like he meant something. Like someone had carved out somewhere in this world just for him. He belonged.

 A home in the ugly, big noisy city of Bangkok. And it was a person. 

He liked Yim. 

There it was. He finally unchained that feeling he had buried deep down in his brain. His heart knew, but his brain was stubborn. He liked Yim. He allowed himself to think again. Not as a friend. Well that was part of it. The other part was he wanted to kiss him again. And do more than that. Tutor took a breath and allowed his feelings to flow.

He thought about Yim in a towel at night. And beyond the physical, he thought about time just beyond work. The sleepover struck him with dread and anxiety, but he admitted it was one of the happiest days of his life. Nervousness and his heart in his throat, but he found comfort lying next to Yim in bed. More than he had ever felt with anyone. 

Yim was a guy and Tutor didn't care. 

Actually Tutor did care, he cared a lot. Not because it meant it was gay. He was too long in the industry to be homophobic. It was more that Yim had the same parts as him. Would he like all the same things as Tutor? Being with a guy didn't fill him with dread. Correction, being with Yim didn't. If anything he was excited. Touching a girl always felt foreign. Different parts, unknown curves, soft where things should be hard. Instead of curiosity it just felt alien.

Tutor could sense Yim felt the same. But it would be a leap to ask. The big anxiety monster threatened to smother out his feelings, but Tutor punched it away. 

Once he got home he opened his phone and texted Yim. "Breakfast tomorrow? Your favorite spot. My treat."

He was going to do it. He needed to. Confess and make Yim know, kiss wasn't just practice. It was for love.

___________________________________________________________________________

Nat surrounded with plushies on his king size bed pulled out his phone and texted his bestie. "Guess who I saw leave Net's place?"

NuNew immediately responded back "James, big deal. He probably stomped out after calling Net an idiot."

"Good guess, but totally wrong. It was Tutor." Nat giggled, enjoying the drama.

"Shouldn't Tutor be eating Yim's face? Boy can't take the hint." Eye roll emoji accompanied the text.

Nat smiled and quickly shot back "So I asked Net, and he said he knocked some sense into Tutor. Net of all people."

"So do you think we will have a new DMD couple? Tutor and Yim have been in love with each other for a year, if only someone could tell them that."

Nat sent a smirking emoji. "Right?! But Tutor is Tutor. He may need another year to say what he thinks."

"Bestie I'm so glad Hia isn't an idiot."

Nat smiled "Exactly, P'Max understood the assignment."

"Was the assignment jumping on him after a shower?" 

"It worked." Nat shrugged and smiled. But kittens deserve to feel claws back. "Whatever Mr. Fake hard-to-get but fake falling asleep naked in you and Papa Zee's hotel room."

"Which also worked. If Yim only listened to us." Another eye roll emoji from Nunew.

"Seriously. We only have good advice. Anyways gotta go. Gotta FaceTime P'Max as he eats his three eggs and chicken breast." 

Nat turned on the selfie camera, fixed his hair and then called Max.