ʏᴏᴜ & ɪ | Modern Family

1.1 PILOT

— Ellie's POV ;;
"Mom! Dad!" I shout. "What happened?" Mom comes in concerned. "Luke just shot me!" I say annoyed. "I didn't mean to!" Luke says innocently. "Are you okay?" Mom says worried. "Of course I'm not! That little bitch just shot me!" I say as Dad laughs at my remark. "Language!" Mom warns me. "They’re only plastic BBs. It was an accident." Luke says as he puts his nerf gun down.
"What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? Deal with this." Mom hands this problem over to Dad. "Buddy, uncool." He says to Luke, which he doesn't seem to care. "…That’s it? That- no, no, no, no, no. The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him." Claire says to Phil, reminding him of the rules.
"We were serious about that?" Phil says. "Yes we were, and now you have to follow through." Claire demands. Luke starts to cry.  "I’m so sorry!" He says all upset, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall. "Liar." Claire notices immediately, he then stops. "Go." Mom tells Luke.
"He’s got a birthday party." Dad says. "What’s more important here, dad?" I ask him. "You can shoot him afterwards. He’ll be home at two." Mom says to Dad. "I can’t shoot him at two; I’m showing a house at two." Dad declares. "Then what about three?" I suggest. "No, he’s got a soccer game at three and then oh, we’ve gotta leave for that dinner thing at five." Mom says as she checks her calendar.  "Four fifteen. You could shoot him at four fifteen!" Claire says enthusiastically. "Yeah, I guess that works for me." Phil agrees. "Aw…" Luke says with a frown.
Mom then fills in her calendar. “Shoot Luke." "Sorry, buddy. It’s on the calendar." Dad tells him. "Aw! Come on!" Luke says as he walks up to his room pouting. I, on the other hand cannot stop smiling as he SO deserves this.

— Ellie's POV ;;
The doorbell rings. Followed by two soft knocks. "I got it!" I announce as I make my way to the door. I open the door, to a boy standing outside. "Hi? I'm assuming your here for Haley. Come on in." I say keeping a close eye on him. "HALEY! YOUR FRIEND IS HERE!" I shout at the top of my lungs from the bottom of the staircase.

Mom hears that he's hear and is immediately on the scene. "Hi, hey! I'm Haley's mom. You must be Dylan?" She says as she shakes his hand. "Hey!! Let's go." Haley says as she leads him upstairs. "Woah- woah- wait. Hang on. Dylan, you still in high school?" She asks him. "Yeah, I'm a senior." He replies. "A senior. Okay. Cool. Phil, sweetie, honey… he is Dylan and he is a senior. She says as she whispers, And you need to scare him." She asks Phil. "Let me meet this playa. Phil Dunphy, yo." He comes in all "swaggy" and "cool".

— Commentary POV ;;
"It’s like that. You just- you just stare down on them and let the eyes do the work. Your mouth might be saying, “Hey, we cool,” but your eyes are like, “No, we not.” “Nice to meet you.” “No, it’s not.” “S’all good." “S’all isisn’t.” Phil says.

— Ellie's POV ;;

"Yo." "Yo." Dylan and Phil say to eachother. "Okay, I see you guys have-" Haley's sentence gets cut off. "Wait, wait, wait! You two… you two keep it real, know what I mean, son?" Phil says. "Not really." Dylan replies perplexed.  "Please stop." Haley asks dad out of embarrassment.

— Commentary POV ;; 
 “Oh, where’re you from originally?” “I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation.” Phil says.

— Ellies POV ;;
I walk up the stairs with Alex to Haley's room. I intentionally barge in there to try and see what Haley and her "friend" are up to. So, I make the excuse of saying that I left my iPod in here. "Ellie, get out, Mom!" She exclaims. "Ellie, leave your sister alone." Mom says to me, before she steps on the staircase she also says the same to Alex. She then decides to pause what she's doing to come over to Alex, Haley and I. "I was just getting my iPod, mom." I tell her. "I know, sweetie, but you need to respect their privacy." She says right before she closes her door. She then continues her sentence. "What are they doing?" She asks curiously. "Watching a movie." Alex chimes in. "…Okay. Okay. Um, I’m making a cake for tonight. Do you two wanna help me with the frosting?" Mom asks us both. "Yeah— sure." Alex says.
"Okay! But just so you know, if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she was mono for a few months, and then, like, tell everyone the baby is yours?" I say, quite out of pocket. Mom looks at me like I'm crazy. "The senior at school was out sick for, like, four months, but… then a week later, she was breastfeeding at the corner of a carwash." I tell her as we all make our way to the kitchen.

"First of all, it would be really cool to see Hayley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who’s really my nephew." Alex says. "I know right?!" I say back to her as I get the equipment for frosting the cake ready."Hayley is not getting pregnant." Mom says firmly. "And, all we're saying is, if." I say as I grab the frosting from the fridge.  "I know. And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it’s not gonna work this time. You know why? ‘Cause your sister is a good girl. I know; I was just like her when I was…" She stops, then dashes upstairs, leaving Alex and I perplexed, but we share a laugh at the end of our sentence since she believed us. Obviously Haley won't get pregnant. She knows better than that.

Alex and I decide to run after her. We see mom enter Haley's room and we overhear their conversation.

"Mom? What are you doing?" Haley asks, surprised. "Oh, hey. I was just, um, dropping off some laundry. Is this a bad time?" She says as we see her shoving tablecloths and curtain shawls in there. Haley doesn't seem to notice the difference. "Yeah mom, it is." Haley says back sternly. "Oh. Okay." Mom says as she leaves. "Can you shut the door, please?" Haley asks softly. "Actually, we’re just gonna go ahead and leave that open." Mom says back to her.
"Why?"    "Because I have, uh, seen this little show before, lying on the bed with a tall senior. One moment you’re just friends watching Falcon Crest, and the next you’re lying under the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket." Mom blurts out. Alex and I look at each other and burst out laughing. "Mom!" Haley says with embarrassment.

It's now later in the day, and we've finally arrived at our uncle's  house. "Hi!" We all say in unison. We all exchanges greetings and hugs. "Hey, where's Uncle Cameron?" I ponder. "Final- thank you. Thank you. Someone who’s not insulting me notices he’s not here." Uncle Mitchell looks at me in gratitude as everyone else has been insulting him earlier. "Aaah, so that’s the big announcement, huh? You two broke up. Well, a baby wasn’t gonna help that anyway. And you know, let me tell you: you’re a lot better off because he was a bit of a drama queen." Jay says. "Okay, no, no, no, stop! You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who, by the way, is not that dramatic and-" Uncle Mitchell says as his sentence stops abruptly by a song playing so loudly. "We adopted a baby. Her name is Lily." He says blissfully as Uncle Cameron carries her. "Lily. Isn’t that gonna be hard for her to say?" Dad says. "Um, excuse me. Okay, I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea, but, uh… what do I know? I mean, it’s not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. I’ve been trying all my life to get it right; I’m still screwing up. Right, Manny?" Jay says. "I wrote a song about it in the car." Manny recalls. "Of course you did..." Jay says. "I’m not here to spit in your face; I’m here to blow at your back." We all look at his confused. "It’s supposed to sound better in Spanish." He then says, as Gloria repeats it in Español. "That's really beautiful." Uncle Cameron exclaims. Uncle Mitchell takes Lily and starts baby talking to her. "Do you wanna meet Grandpa?" He says raising his voice at the end of his sentence. "Are you kidding? She’s one of us now. Let me see your little podsticker. Hey! You’re a cutie, aren’t you? Ah." Jay says.

— Commentary POV ;;
“We’re from different worlds… yet we somehow fit together. Love is what binds us through fair and stormy weather. I stand before you now with only one agenda: to let you know my heart is yours, Feldman comma Brenda.”  "I mean, seriously!" He laughs.

1.1 PILOT

Please comment if I misspelled any words. The story is often going to mention just the Dunphy's rather than everyone else. (But every family will be mentioned, or have a line in my story.)

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