Can I wake up tomorrow
As someone nicer to themselves?
Someone less worried
About every word they place
Importance on persons they can't see
Go back to sleep
Vivid visions of worlds beyond
Stay away from windows
You can't bare to see out of
Unconsciously grasping
What you can't have
Because happy daydreams
Is all the happy you have
Trapped in rooms
Filled with poppy fog
Drifting away
Self induced grogginess
Self induced lethargy
Because awake hurts
Memories hurt
People hurt
Embrace the jaded dead
Staying here feels so much better
Wrapped in red clouds
Weary and waiting
When everything you say is wrong
And everything you do goes wrong
What is left to do?
When the universe seems to hate you?
When all you do is think to hard
So everything falls apart
And you must speak through other people
Because so few understand you
That's not what I
Meant
Let me just build a problem
Unknowingly
Carry words like bricks
It's exhausting
Throw them all away?
I didn't know I had them
Pretending there's not a weight
A care in the world
Just try to be different
It's that easy
Can I swap places
With someone who doesn't
Constantly want to be
Someone else
How do I stop
Pretending?
Pretending?
Am I even pretending anymore?
How do I stop feeling like this?
I thought I'd know what I was doing
By now
At least a little
But now I just wanna know
What it's like to not have to try
I thought I'd know what
I was doing by now
But I'm to busy dreaming up different realities
Where I don't have to be
Me
Anymore
Because I hate myself
When I see myself in a reflection
Flip all the mirrors around
Somehow I'm so self aware
I miss parts I can't find
Who are we so afraid
To be?
To end up?
No matter what I do
It seems to repeat
To repeat
To repeat
Pretending
Every day
To sleep and become
Another me
A better me
So exhausted
I can't help myself
I can tell myself
So many times
Maybe I can't see
Maybe I'm blind
To dark corners
I put in shadows
Taking places I want to be in
Whether I belong in them
Or not
They take
And they take
And I try
And I cry
And I self induce
Sleep
To hide
Even when I'm at your side
Fog sets in
I see red
Before I drift away
Go back to sleep
Swap places for a night
Because it's all you can do
To stop having a breakdown
To stop from losing...you
YOU ARE READING
Go Back to Sleep
PoetryA long hecking poem vaguely based off of the song "Counting Bodies Like Sheep" 2nd poem based off imagery from "Noose" and "Guiltless"
