I look for you in trees
betwixt fading fall leaves
and the muted blue of november sky.
I look for you in reflections
in the windows and in the waters
between every peak and valley
of the wind-disrupted calm.
I look for you in the skies
within every crevice of the clouds
in each sliver of pink and lilac
that the sunsets may offer me.
I look for you in the dew
of morning grass
hoping that from one droplet
might cascade an answer
instead of a tear
I search for you in all
of life's gifts but
I cannot seem to find you.
They say that when one
experiences grief
their loved ones seem to find
their way back
one way or another
but no birds or butterflies
have your name etched
upon their wings
no winds whistle
in my ear a cadence
that could resemble
the rhythm of your voice
no dreams have spared me
the pain of your loss
because you have yet
to come and greet me
or disrupt my sleeping mind
to tell me that you're okay.
that you made it.
that heaven is real.
Is it real?
is she there too?
does the sweet onyx rain
comfort you like
it once did me
do you keep each other well
I really must know
since I can't make
an imprint any longer
but no matter.
I will continue to search
in the natural beauties
where society told me you would be
I will inspect
every aspect of my dreams
until a sign finds
it's way into my outstretched and translucent grasp
I will await the arrival
of a gentle songbird
who whistles the melody
that once was ours
I will attempt to live
a full and well life
In your absence
carrying forward
the wisdom you left behind
Most importantly
I will remain
with the love on earth
And treasure it
Until one by one
we can meet you again
and be reunited for eternity.
