Friends but not friends

Chapter 18

Yashwardhan who was confused with everything spoke, "bhaiya kya hua hai"? Before anyone else can say, Chetnaya replied, "nothing important".

Arnav- "It is important. Inhe pata hona chahiye ki ye kaha galat hai taki future mein ye kisi ko Arnav ya Chetnaya na banana de."

Yashwardhan – "aap batao to sahi ki hua kya hai."

Chetnaya – "don't worry Yashwardhan. Is baar mein koi problem create nahi karunga."

Yashwardhan – "Problem? Konsi problem." 

He looked towards other two, especially Hridyansh as mostly he was talking with Chetnaya off field. He asked him if he knew anything with signs and response was negative.

Chetnaya – "mujhe pata hai ki baat jab tumhare Arnav bhaiya ki aati hai to tu kya kehna chahta hai."

Arnav – "Sabko pata hai ki tu chah kar bhi aisa nahi karega. Phir kyu sochta hai itna."

Chetnaya – "pehle jab kiya tha tab kisi ne socha tha kya."

Arnav- "vo pehle ki baat hai. Tu present mein reh. Apne past ko apna present mat banane de."

Yashwardhan – "Jo aap kar nahi sakte uske baarein Kyu soch rahe ho itna."

Chetnaya- "are tum abhi tak yehi ho. Mujhe laga tha ki har baar ki tarah is baar bhi chale gaya hoga."

Yashwardhan – "matlab"

Chetnaya –" sorry if it hurts you but please leave, I don't want audience for my feelings."

Yashwardhan – "jab tak aap kuch batate nahi, mein nahi jane wala."

Chetnaya –"Jab har baar bina bole chala jata hai to aaj to mein request kar raha hu. Tu kahe to hath bhi jod du."

Arnav – "tu jo kar raha hai na ye hum sab ko aa raha hai. For God sake acknowledge your feelings."

Chetnaya – "feelings, seriously Arnav. Konsi feelings."

Arnav – "vahi feelings jinhe tu ignore kar raha hai."

Chetnaya – "ab to kuch feel hi nahi hota. Ek advice du, never show your feelings to anyone. People starts judging you."

Yashwardhan - aap kya bol rahe ho?"

Chetnaya – "Arnav ko lag raha hai ki I am trying to push you people away. Are mein jiski kisi ko jarurat nahi hai vo kisi ko kya push karega. Aaj ke liye bahut scene create ho gaya. Ek aur iljaam sir lene ka man nahi hai abhi. Chalta hu."

Arnav – "chup hokar baith yaha. Kisne kaha ki teri kisi ko jarurat nahi hai, mujhe to hai. Us din na tu baat karna chahta tha aur na hi baat karne ki haalat mein tha. Aaj tujhe batana pdega ki tune un namoono ko jawab kyu nahi diya. Ek baar muh band karwa deta to ye baat itni aage tak pahunchti hi nahi. Jab tu kisi ki nahi sunta to unki kyu suni."

Chetnaya – "Jis Chetnaya Bhardwaj ki tu baat kar raha hai na vo to kab ka mar gaya. Mene khud usse apne haathon se mara hai. Ek baat aur batau, vo jinda rehna bhi nahi chahta tha. Is sehreer ke alawa uska kuch bhi nahi hai."

A tear drop fell from Chetnaya's eyes. No matter how much Chetnaya tried to hide it, Arnav saw it and spoke, " hell no yaar. Ab fir se rona shuru kar diya. Us din bhi aisa hi kiya tha. Jinke liye ye ganga jamuna baha raha hai na vo deserve nahi karte." Room room turned silent at that moment. Arnav knew Chetnaya would not talk in presence of others, so he hold his hand and took him outside.

Arnav – "koi nahi hai yaha, ab to bolega na."

With a break of two or three minutes, trying not to break down, Chetnaya said, kya puchna hai tujhe."

Arnav -" tune unki bakwaas kyu suni"?

Chetnaya - Jab tu nahi mila tab samjh aaya ki mein tujhe kho chuka hu. Har ek din tujhe yaad kiya. Tere aane ka intezar kiya. Par tu aaya hi nahi. Mujhe lagne laga tha ki shayd mein yehi sab deserve karta hu. Mujhe aise hi jeena hai aur marna bhi. Mujhe pata tha ki tu chala gaya hai, par yehi baat jab Nirwan ne boli to bahut buri lagi. Unki baatein bahut buri lagti thi par mujhe laga ki vo sahi to keh rahe hai vo. Sab aisa hi sochte hai, mein bhi to phir unki baaton ko galat kaise bol deta."

Arnav – "tune mujhse kaha tha ki tu akela ho gaya tha,kyu? Sab to the tere paas?"

Chetnaya – "Ek din, Ek incident aur sab rishte khtm. Mere chaaro taraf mere apne the par phir bhi koi nahi tha jisse mein apni baat bol sakta tha. Ravish mere dost ko meri shakal dekhna bhi acha nahi lagta tha. Jinko mene apna chota bhai mana tha vo sirf ek galti ki vajah se mujhse baat nahi karna chahte the. Yashwardhan tera naam aate hi us pure discussion ko chodkar chala jata tha, kya btata usse mein. Yaha tak ki Nidhi bhi naraj ho gayi thi. Devansh kabhi hota hi nahi tha aur Mohit ko jaise koi matlab hi nahi tha. Ek Abhimanyu tha jo har time mere sath rehta tha. Us par bhi kitna bojh banta mein. Mene us ek din mein apne sare rishte kho diye the."

Arnav – "Jab ye sab normal ho gaye tab to bata sakta tha na at least Nidhi ko to."

Chetnaya – "Dum ghutne laga tha, kabhi kabhi lagta tha ki ab saans nahi le paunga. Dheere dheere relation to normal hua par mujhe victim nahi banana tha. Tujhe pata hai, jab bhi mein confuse hota to tu mujhe advice deta tha. Us time tujhe bhi yehi lagta tha ki mein jo soch raha hu, kar raha hu sahi kar raha hu."

Arnav- "mein kuch samjha nahi."

Chetnaya – "tu roj mujhse milne aata tha. Mujhe sahi galat batata tha. Mujhe pata hai, vo meri imagination thi par mujhe khushi milti thi. Please ab mujhe chod kar mat jana isbar shyad mein jee na saku."

Arnav- "kahi nahi ja raha mein. Aaj tak jitni manmani karni thi tune kar li. Ab mein jo bolunga vo tujhe karna pdega. Agar tune meri baat nahi mani na to kasam se mein jo karunga vo tujhe pasand nahi aayega."

Chetnaya was only staring Arnav.

Arnav -"aise kya dekh raha hai"?

Chetnaya – "I missed you. Can I hug you?"

Arnav – "pichle kuch din sath hi to the hum. Aur ab hug ke liye bhi puchega? "

Chetnaya hugged him and started crying vigorously. Chetnaya spoke, "sab rait ki tarah fisal raha hai. Ab aur bardasht nahi hota. Nahi sehan ho raha ab."

Arnav –" kuch nahi hoga. Hum dono hai na mil kar sambhalenge sab kuch. Bas ab aur nahi rona varna phir tabyiat kharab ho jayegi."

Chetnaya- "kya hi farq padta hai."

Arnav – "mujhe farq pdta hai. Chal ab jaldi se rona band kar."

Both remained in that position for some time. Arnav continued speaking some soothing words. He was able to hear sobbing sounds. He thought that may be after crying, Chetnaya would feel better. At that moment Arnav feared many things. What if he had never returned? What if Chetnaya's loneliness resulted in worst? Last thing which he wanted to think was about his suicide attempts. What if they were successful? He shivered merely by thinking about it. He thanked almighty for giving them another chance.