you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do, you're never good enough? or that maybe you'll never succeed? that's me. i feel so behind with everything in my life. nothing goes right. i feel like i don't have a clue how to do most things i should. i only recently finished school at 21. i've never had a single irl friend. i'm not in college working on becoming a clinical psychologist like i want to. nothing feels right. everything feels wrong. idk what to do ab any of it. i don't know how to do anything. i don't know how and where to start. i feel so stupid all the time. it's ridiculously pathetic, isn't it? i've been behind in life constantly and it's so frustrating. i love m'y parents but they've also put me here. being homeschooled and isolated from everything and everyone. living in the middle of the country with no one around. it all just fucks with my head. i've learned next to nothing in the 21 years of my life and i wish i was a few years into getting my psychology degree. but i'm not. it's so pathetic and disheartening. idk how to even really apply to college or do it right. idk how to make friends. i just want one. one irl friend. i've never had one of those. it must be nice. to have a friend. i'm sure it is. i wish i could experience it. i really really wish i could. but no one ever wants to be my friend irl. so ig maybe i'll be in isolation with no friends my entire life.. and i'll still be behind with everything in my life. but it's okay. i'm used to it yk? it is what it is. all i know, is barely anyone except immediate family would miss me if i were gone.
