The armoured hearts

Tiny, adorable Chay

“I will go alone.” Porchay smiled at them, letting go of Kim’s hand.

“Are you sure?” Kim asked, worried.

“It’s better for him to meet his brother alone. Don’t you think so?”

The guard looked at the boy and opened his mouth. “If you’re the brother he has been asking about everydays since he arrived…I recommend you to go alone. He might not understand that your friends are safe. I am waiting here, go.” He said, opening the door and closing it behind Porchay.

There was only a small window which was letting a small amount of sun come from it, just enough to create a corridor of light. In one of the corners, someone was curled up on himself. He was dirty, messy, his clothes were dark, his body was thin, his muscles were nowhere to be seen. He looked like the ghost of his brother.

Porchay’s sob came immediately, not able to contain it and it woke up the man who raised his head. He had a beard and his hair was long. He had the eyes of someone who was already far away gone in his mind.

“Did you find Chay…did you find him?” Porsche asked, his voice low and sick.

Porchay said nothing, he just came closer and kneeled in front of him, whatever if he wasn’t like his brother anymore, it was still him, whatever if he was trying to attack him, it was still his Hia and he wanted to show him that he was in security now, that he could trust Porchay.

“Who's…your brother?” He asked, his voice shaking.

Porsche stared at him and had a rictus. “Porchay Kittisawat, small, tiny, young…wait…I am stupid… dead…he will be…for sure…” Porsche said, whispering more at each word until his voice wasn't heard anymore. Porchay closed his eyes and took some breaths, he felt the need to hug him so strongly but he couldn’t, he didn’t want to hurt him because he couldn’t control himself.

His soul broke into millions of pieces. He had thought about seeing Porsche again, and saving him and helping him. He had thought a lot about this, but not this way, not like this. He wanted to bring him back home, to cuddle, to just protect him the right way. He never thought that he would have felt this bad on the day they would have been reunited.

“Hia…” Porchay said, shaking.

“Why…are you calling Hia?” Porsche asked, his eyes angry.

“Hia…It’s me…Porchay…”

“Stop lying!” Porsche suddenly screamed. He scared Porchay who just stayed there frozen and then his brother caressed his cheek and denied once again. “You can’t be Chay, he is tiny, he is small, he is adorable.”

Porchay wasn’t anymore that description. He could be adorable but not like a child, like a grown young man. He wasn’t small or tiny, he had grown in height, he had developed more muscles by fighting more, he was looking stronger mentally and physically. He was marked by all that he lived and it could be witnessed in his pupils. Porsche always gave his best to never expose his brother to too much violence but without him being around he had seen it all, it shaped Porchay into who he was today and Porsche couldn’t see anymore the innocence he had tried to protect.

“Hia…it’s been years, I just grew up…” Porchay desperately told him.

“Where is Chay?” Porsche asked, his eyes filled with tears.