The armoured hearts

Kiss?

—---

So what was this about?

Porchay had found a small garden behind the whole place and he sat there, resting his injured leg and looking at the sky.

What was this about?

In fact, he never even thought about those types of emotions in his life. He was first too young, and then an active thief who needed to not be known or not have any relationship with someone. He needed to be discreet. He needed to be totally undercover, or as much as he could, and he literally never had that option in sight. Porsche didn’t either. He had known their parents, for quite a short time, people in love, but Porchay didn’t. His Hia never tried to have someone in his life, he already had a child at his charge and it was hard, so hard that taking care of his own self was literally a problem. Love was far from an option. The only one he felt was the brotherhood he developed quickly. The way he would do all for Porsche and Porsche would do the same. Here it felt really different.

Put into perspective, thought about deeply, the emotions he was feeling towards Porsche and Kim weren’t the same. He had the same idea in his head, helping them, finding them, protecting them, but it wasn’t the same intensity, it wasn’t the same shape, the same colour. It wasn’t the same mood. If he didn’t know what he felt for Kim, he knew that it wasn’t brotherhood now.

And definitely he had thought at first that he just had a rational reaction by just ignoring this but in reality, he might have just pushed away Kim. He pushed away and decided to not look at this because it was new and not something he was used to. Also because it might be even more new for Kim and it was terrifying, it was really scary to think about walking on a path with someone who literally had no idea where he was putting his feet. Or he might have an idea, and Porchay was the one to think that he didn't have one because he was the one scared.

But he loved that kiss. He loved those lips. He loved those eyes staring at him and shining in the quietness of those shaking pupils. He loved that blush on Kim’s cheek, he loved the way he let his lips parted, as if he was too stunned to even react to this. He loved, he loved…he might love Kim. He might love Kim in a way that didn’t cross his mind before because he had no time, no energy, no will to think about it. And now he was here, feeling those emotions deeply and he had no idea what to do.

So all he did was look at the sky and breath. He could always do this and hope for time to slow down itself a little.

—-

“I have…no idea…”

“Kim…” Tankhun laughed out loud when he answered this, at his question : why did you kiss him?

“So…is it called a kiss?” Kim said, a soft smile appearing on his face.

"You're…hilarious…Kimmy, my tiny Kimmy!" Tankhun said, messing with his hair. "I didn't know how funny you were until now…"

"Am I?" Kim asked, judging his oldest brother.

"You are. I saw the damage you did to that glass…I also learnt…that you…you shot…him…how are you feeling about this?"

"I don't feel…anything…to be honest…he just looked like the enemy…and I learnt to…well no…no I guess that I chose…chose to go against my enemy ?"

"Because he menaced Yok?" Kim nodded quietly. "Then, you chose. You chose right you didn’t learn…" Tankhun sadly smiled, he did because Kim's whole existence was making him feel sick. He couldn’t believe that he knew deep down about his existence and yet couldn’t remember well.

"Wait…did I do bad ? I feel nothing about that man but he is your father right? If he is…wait…does this mean that…you are sad?"

"No…no Kim." He said, getting closer and hugging him tightly. "It's okay. I am not." He stated. He couldn’t say that he felt nothing. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t totally sad. He couldn’t just erase the fact that he was his father but he wanted now to just protect his brother. If Korn had been a bad father for Kim, Tankhun wanted to be a great brother.
"Tell me…" He asked, pulling away. "Do you want to kiss me?"

"No."

"Kinn? Yok? Pete?" Kim denied at each names. "Do you want to kiss Porchay?"

Kim bit his lips. He moved his hands, embarrassed. He thought about it. Did he want this? He was craving it.

"Ye-yes…"

Tankhun smiled tenderly. "Listen boy, you fell in love."

"But I am not hurt."

Tankhun laughed, mocking him a huge amount but for his defence it was still hilarious.

"No. You don't fall. Not literally. It's like an image, to explain what is happening here." He said putting one finger on Kim's chest. "You know, what you feel is either the heat of the moment or a deep love."

"The heat? Like the…wait like the animal's period of reproduction?" Kim innocently asked.

Tankhun laughed again, trying to keep his calm. "Yes…yes, but it's kinda different…I guess, I never talked to any animals…it would be great to have mister bunny's thoughts. But between us, love is more than heat. It's way more than feeling physically attracted to someone."

"How do…I know? What if I can't know?"

"Try. You can. Try and talk. You can do it Kimmy. You can. All you have to do is one thing : translating emotions into words. It's not easy but I believe that you can do it. What are you feeling for exemple now ?"

"I…miss…him…" Kim whispered, looking in the void.

"Then, go look for him. And talk. Talk Kimmy!" Tankhun screamed at the boy who ran really fast from that room.

He wondered if he just unleashed a new amount of problems, or if he really helped Porchay and his brother…