Honest

Certainly Uncertain

Colin Bridgerton breathed in his first breath of fresh air once he returned to English soil. Every other breath since he arrived in London had been filled with a stench that can only be described as---London. But this was Mayfair, and Colin, despite fleeing the place at every opportunity, had missed it very much. In particular, he had missed three things. His family. Cook's food. And Penelope Featherington.

Dear Gods did he miss Pen. She was the entire reason he came home. Her smile, her laugh, her witty barbs. He had missed it all, and in the absence of her letters, he felt an aching hole in his chest. It didn't take long for him to realize what this hole was, and who had caused it. So he made the journey home as quickly as possible, in hopes of making it back before the start of the season.

Unfortunately, there had been some setbacks, but on the day of his sister Francesca's debut, Colin came riding in on his horse at exactly the right time. He looked across the square towards the familiar stone house of his neighbor and friend. Though she was far more than that to him now, he realized. She was everything good in his world. She completed him. She was home. And he was quite determined to march over to her door and find out exactly why she had been ignoring him all these months.

"Colin, get inside and change! We are leaving for the palace now, and we are already running late!" Anthony's booming voice interrupted, though there was less edge to it since he and Kate finally got together.

"But I need to see P---" Colin protested.

"Colin, please do not miss my debut. You already missed Eloise's last year," Francesca whined softly, that pleading look in her eyes that each of the Bridgerton children had well perfected.

Beside him, Benedict scoffed and muttered, "I'm sure he counts his blessings for that. Ow!" He yelped as Eloise elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"Please, Colin? It would mean so much to me."

That did him in. "Of course, I will, Fran," he said through slightly gritted teeth. May God help them come time for Hyacinth's debut. Meeting Penelope would have to wait, Colin thought with an barely disguised grumble. It's not like he hadn't been without her sweet presence for nine grueling months already.

Luckily, the Queen's Debut went by swiftly, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Francesca was deemed the season's incomparable. Colin barely waved goodbye to his family before darting into the crowds to find a the barest glimpse of bright red hair. He searched corners and behind pillars, every nook and cranny he could think of, and nary a sign of her. He decided the best plan of action was to wait until the ball that night. Surely she would be there, and perhaps then he could dress in something a little more comely than the two-sizes-too-small vest that he had haphazardly thrown on. He also needed a good shave. Though, he had heard Pen say last year that the beard made him look rather distinguished. He would have to revisit that with her in the future.

Several more hours later, Colin stared at his reflection in the mirror and gave himself an approving nod. He had dressed in a sleek, still slightly small black suit and a crisp white cravat. He felt a bit odd being back in his old clothes. He had outgrown them, and perhaps his old self in the same way. But he knew that at the very least, his mother or Anthony would scold him if he didn't wear them. Propriety and some such nonsense. Not that he ever cared for propriety. All he ever cared about was his Pen, and what she thought of his clothes, and as he had imagined several times over the years, what was under them.

Colin shook himself from his admittedly improper thoughts. He may not care a lick about cravats or the correct way to style ones hair, but he should not be thinking about his future wife in such a debased way. Without a doubt, the second he saw Penelope tonight, after quickly dissolving whatever nonsensical reasons she had for ignoring him, he would whisk her away to the dance floor, profess his feelings, and propose. Surely she would say yes. Surely.