While crying myself to sleep I'll always try to keep you smile

I'll be in front of my computer

And if I do it what could happen, what could be so problematic. If I do it what would you think? What would happen to you? To them? To us? Is there a us actually. I don't know.

I keep smiling through the pain, trying to hide my feelings, that nothing is okay, that sometimes I wish to disappear from your life. How many times did I just dumped on paper the thoughts that were just being parasites to me. I wish you could have known me when I was not that broken, not that hard to love.

I'm sorry that you have to share my life. I'm sorry you have to support me when I'm at my lowest. I'm sorry I never have been a friend you could count on, a partner that could support you enough.

What if I did it? What if the story ends like that? What if after expending the deadline for four years I just ended it right now? Would you pardon me?