Wolf Like Me • Bucky Barnes

chapter three

"Are you lashing out at me, Doc? Because that's really unprofessional." he criticises. "You yell at all your clients- oh yep, notebook, that's great."

He really dislikes the notebook.

I finish writing down todays date when he raises his voice, as if speaking louder, will stop my pen.

"Give me a break- I'm trying, okay? This is new for me.." he says, his voice fading at the end.

Fading into vulnerability.

"..I didn't have a moment to deal with anything, you know?" he continues. "I had a little.. calm.. In Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another, for ninety years."

Here we go. A sliver of light through the stone wall.

"So, now that you've stopped fighting.. what do you want?" I ask him gently.

He's quiet for a moment as he considers his answer.

"Peace."

My face softens and a smile plays on my lips.

A beautiful answer it is.

And I believe him, too. 

I drop my eyes down to my notebook and subtly put pen to paper.

"What are you writing now?" James whines. "I was talking. I don't talk, you write. I do talk and you still write."

"Peace." I simply reply.

The annoyance on his face swiftly changes to confusion. "What?"

I turn my book around, holding it up for him to see the singular word on my page, along with todays date.

He frowns at my paper before flicking his suspicious gaze back to my face. 

"I think it's an important thing for me to note down. It's getting underlined." I state, bringing the book back to my lap. "Don't worry about my notes, okay?" I add, as I underline. "It's usually just thoughts, phrases, progress, things I want to come back to in future sessions. Nothing to worry about."

I will also be using my notes to help me write summaries of each session for the government to track his progression, but he doesn't need to know that right now.

He drops his eyes down to the floor while his knee bounces a little.

"You've been through multiple events, any one of which, can pull someone down into the dark. One event is enough. But you've experienced multiple. If you're going through it alone, you're submitting yourself to personal hell. And James.. it is very hard to escape." I say, my calm tone heavy with seriousness. "I implore you to find someone you can confide in. Whether it be me or not, that is up to you."

His eyes pierce into my soul, analysing me, searching for truth and trust. I sit in silence and wait. Letting him take the time he needs.

"What's yours?" he finally says.

My brows furrow. "Sorry?"

"What's your shit?" he asks.

"We're not here to talk about me."

He laughs under his breath as he scowls at me before returning his gaze to the window and the room falls silent once again.

I watch him, quietly tapping my pen on my leg while I contemplate my next move.

Trust is a two way street.

I take a deep and silent breath.

"..I was pretty much the only one of my friends and family that wasn't dusted." I announce, humouring him with an answer.