EYES LIKE THAT (Shubman Gill X Ishan Kishan)

who is she?

In the dining room, Ishan picks on his meal disinterestedly with a fork, feeling confused. He tries to erase all thoughts of Gill from his mind, of how he had looked earlier, clothes soaked in the shower, smiling. Smiling like that should be illegal.

Ishan had to swallow and look away, wondering whether you could live in a smile.

Just why couldn't he tear his eyes off of Shubman's body? No matter how many times he tried to shake the image from his mind, it would come back with a spiteful force, a tantalising change in his daydream each time: Shubman gazing deeply into his eyes, smiling a slow smile, pulling Ishan toward him.....

Do friends think about each other like that?

"What are you thinking about, you pervert?" Tilak's voice shakes him out of his reverie.

"Food. Am thinking about food," Ishan mumbles, feeling his face grow hot, hoping Tilak would not pursue further discussion on this topic. But of course not.

"Ishan. I am not blind, that's not the way a person's face looks when they are thinking about food," Tilak rolls his eyes.

Ishan stays silent.

"So who's the girl? Spill," Tilak persists, nudging him.

His eyes immediately find Shubman, who is engaged in conservation with Shreyas.

Shubman, as if sensing his gaze, meets his eyes and flashes him a toothy grin, and his mind feels tortured. It's as if his whole world exists for this moment, for the electricity that runs through his body the moment Shubman looks at him.

He feels guilty at thinking about his innocent friend that way, Shubman would look at him with disgust if he could read his mind right now.

He takes a deep breath and ignores Tilak.

Just then Shreyas leans toward Shubman with an intrigued look, inhaling deeply.

"Wow, Shubi, what deodorant are you wearing? It smells so good."

Ishan suddenly feels as if time is moving in slow motion, as if a horror movie is unfolding as he sees Shreyas hold Shubman close.

Inexplicable rage courses through his body. He puts down his fork and finds himself saying,

"Yes, tell him, he desperately needs the recommendation, right?"

Shit. Shit. Shit. He did not mean to say that out loud. A total silence ensues at the table, all the players around them exchanging looks and glancing at him with raised eyebrows. Ishan feels awful. Shreyas is one of the sweetest members of the team and Ishan is himself surprised at what overtook him in that moment.

All he knew was, he wanted Shreyas miles away from Shubman. Possibly on another planet.

For once, Ishan feels grateful toward Tilak as he begins to laugh.

"Guys, cut him some slack. He's cranky because he's going through girl problems."

All his gratefulness vanishes in thin air, as cries of "Awwww, our baby has grown so much, hasn't he?" and "Who's the girl who has stolen our innocent boy's heart?" and laughter takes over the table.

Ishan makes a face at Tilak, who winks back, as if to say 'I gotcha.'

"There's no such girl," Shubman says roughly, looking directly at Ishan.

Ishan tries to keep his expression calm but feels annoyed for some reason, "There sure is."

Why the f*ck was he lying?

Shubman's eyes darken, "Who?"

"None of your goddamn business." Ishan picks up his plate with a clank and leaves the table amid various 'ooooooh's' and guesses about who 'bhabhi ji' is.

He takes a deep breath, "I should think about the match, that's it."
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They won the match. It was an easy win but Ishan's performance was not up to mark. Ishan knew he could have done better and had a long way to go.

In the hotel bar, he feels a bit dejected while the rest of the team is celebrating. Even Rohit Bhai's relaxing, drinking a bit of beer and dancing to 'obsessed'. Ishan suddenly realizes that Shubman is not present.

He turns to Surya, who is sitting next to him, "Where's—?"

"He went upstairs. Said he was too tired," says Surya, without looking up from his phone. "Surya's so curt when he's texting his wife," Ishan thinks. "I guess this is what true love is like, it brings out the worst in you, as well as the best."

Ishan makes his way to their room, slightly worried about Shub. He takes the elevator instead of the stairs, which was his usual choice since it provided easy exercise.

He opens the door to their room without knocking.

He sees a girl. A girl whose arms are wrapped around Shubman's neck. A girl who is kissing him passionately, her legs straddling him on their couch. She's moaning something in his ear—

He slams the door shut. The world around Ishan blurs. What the hell did he just see??? His brain can't comprehend what his eyes just saw. His heart is beating wildly in his chest.

The door turns and Shubman stumbles out into the hallway.

His lips are swollen red from being kissed. His hair, messed up from having hands run through them. Shirt, unbuttoned to his navel. Eyes, ravenous, looking intensely at Ishan.

"You," he slurs, thrusting a finger in Ishan's chest accusingly, "You're finally back."

Ishan doesn't look at him. He doesn't know how to respond. All he feels is hurt. A strange sadness that stabs you in the heart.

"Where were you? You were with her, weren't you? That girl you never told me about," Shubman grabs his shoulder, and looks pleadingly into his eyes. Eyes like that leave Ishan confused, always.

"No! I was downstairs with the guys," Ishan mumbles, pushing Shubman's hand off of his shoulders, not looking Shubman in the eye. He wanted to throw up even though he hadn't drunk anything.

Shubman's entire face brightens in a second, "You were not with her?" He says slowly, as if scared to believe it.

"No."

Shubman's lips hesitate then curve into a slow smile,"Ok. Let's go inside. Why were you standing outside anyway?"

"Seriously?"

"Oh, sorry I'll tell...." he pauses, trying to remember the girl's name, "Ishita to come out."

"Rakhi," a cold voice cuts in. Ishan knows without looking up that it's the girl from earlier, standing in their doorway, "And fuck you."

The girl stalks off, almost in tears but Ishan doesn't feel bad. A warning rings in his head that screams he should, but he can't bring himself to.

"Let's go inside," Shubman simply says, as if the interruption had never occurred.

"You're a terrible person," Ishan comments as they head inside.

As soon as they are inside Shubman suddenly pulls Ishan into a tight hug, almost crushing his bones. After he doesn't let go for a minute, Ishan gently taps Shubman on his shoulder.

"Just how drunk are you?"

"Drunk enough." He squeezes Ishan even tighter.

"Let go, you're suffocating me, you giant." A pause. Shubman still doesn't move.

"Shubi, you're huge! Get off!" He tries to push away Shubman.

"I'm not huge. You're too little."

Ishan realizes he has had his hand on Shubman's chest for a while and flinches away, embarrassed.

Shubman takes Ishan's hand and presses it firmly back against chest, "Don't lie, you don't even want me to get off," Shubman breathes against his ears.

Ishan feels the whole world still.
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