17 DATES

CHAPTER 1: the wrong way to start uni

Ruby pressed her hands deeper into the pockets of her black fluffy coat and choked on the all feeling she kept bottled.

It didn't matter that Will went to go see the lights with his friends and not her. It didn't matter that he didn't show up when he said he would on Halloween. It didn't matter that she caught them talking behind the bus stop after an exam when Mia explicitly told her she didn't like him and his vibe.

The next few days, she didn't exist for Ruby. She didn't even look at Mia, who seemed like she was completely content with her supposed friend's distance. It was true that Mia had written her a text the morning after Ruby became a club runaway. She rambled about how she meant a lot to her as a friend and that she didn't understand what she did wrong. She added that she was a very friendly person and wanted to be friends with everyone around her and that she could speak to her if there was anything wrong between them.

There was nothing Ruby did better than run from her problems. After that night, the whole life she built for herself at University crumbled in a week. The only friend she kept from before the chaos night from the club was Anton. After exam season, Ruby tried to fix her life into something resembling anything that wasn't a disaster. There was no one in her life to stop her from bad decisions, which was why she invited Anton and a few others to a dinner party at her dorm, since her roommates had left early to go home.

It was around eleven when the living room cleared and it was only Anton and herself.

He cleared his throat, his fifth glass of whiskey empty before him, "so, are you gonna tell me what happened between you and Mia?"

The topic of Mia and Will was still fresh for Ruby, which was why she shrugged and leaned forward, her head tipping out of her window.

"No, don't give me that shit. You and Mia were like sisters. What happened?"

"People grow apart," Ruby's voice was steady, even though her heart wasn't.

"Not so suddenly."

Somehow, Ruby felt as if she could trust Anton. He was there for her when she had her fallout with Mia and always had a goofy side that she loved when they texted. If he trusted her with his situation with a girl from another course, why couldn't she trust him with her problem. It wasn't as if she had spoken about this to anyone else who knew both her and Mia.

"I guess we both fell in love with the same boy. Even though she knew I liked him, before she met him," her voice was slow, unsure. She felt a tightness around her heart that wasn't there before. One that tried to warn her of something.

"Seriously? All of this because of a guy?" Anton chuckled, giving her a condescending look. She took a step back and glanced at her ratty black boots she needed to wash.

"I don't think I even like him anymore. It's the fact that she couldn't tell me that she liked him too. I thought friends were supposed to be honest and loyal." She glanced up and stared at him. The boy before her stayed quiet, which gave her time to really look at him. His hair was a mess, his eyes red. Something was wrong.

"Who's the boy?"

"Will," she didn't even hesitate. His reaction confused her, her eyebrows furrowed, her lips slipping into a pout.

He chuckled, "that dude's funny. I get it, I get it."

Something changed in his eyes, but it was too late for Ruby. She shook off the weird feeling and sat back down behind the table. It was too quiet and it was making her uncomfortable. With a press of her finger, she put on her favorite song by Ben Platt and dropped back her phone.

Anton nodded with the beat, his eyes closed. "Your taste in music is the worst." He chuckled, but there was nothing humorous behind his laugh. His breathing became heavy, small puffs of air leaving his chest. Ruby only stared when he stood up and walked over to the fridge. It was almost as if he was in a daze, his eyes glazed over and lips pulled into a line.