17 DATES

CHAPTER 1: the wrong way to start uni

Ruby didn't know what she was supposed to do. Was she supposed to pretend she never saw her best friend leaning into her crush? It felt dumb to feel that way. She was in College and her problems with love were similar to high school ones.

That night was never mentioned between the best friends. With all the unspoken feelings and truths, their friendship became strained. The daily coffee breaks shortened to once a week and sitting beside each other in lectures turned from gossip sessions to Mia turning in her seat and speaking to other people.

Never in a million years would Ruby think that confiding in her friend would lead her to a crushing night in a club, which reeked of cigarette smoke and sweat. The green lights flashed over them, while they danced to the electric music. Ruby was more than tipsy from her third gin and tonic. It took her a few minutes to realize she was drowning in a wave of strangers, her friends no longer around her. Dragging her feet behind her, she wiped the sweat from her forehead. She pushed through dancing people and made her way toward the bar. Her feet stopped moving, the image before her frozen in time. The bus stop moment wasn't going to be the only event breaking Ruby Jackson's heart.

Mia hadn't talked to her the whole time they were out, avoiding looking her in the eye. There had been tension from Mia's side ever since the day in class, when she confessed she was going on a date with Will, who was coincidentally the boy her best friend had not-so-silently been crushing on. The moment Mia confessed, Ruby's face fell. Even though she would deny it, she had seen it coming since Mia had told her the two started talking over the phone. At first she shrugged it off, since Mia had spoken about how he looked like a bad boy, who only used girls to his liking.

After a moment of silence, Mia told her friend that if she was uncomfortable about the situation, she would cancel the date. Ruby had rarely been selfish in her life, but Mia had never told her she liked Will, she even went as far to speak how he didn't seem like he would treat her right. That was the reason why Ruby confessed to Mia, that she was distressed about the situation, but never told her to cancel the date. Mia grabbed Ruby's hand and softly smiled at her, "you're more important to me than any boy." Supposedly, she canceled the date, but ever since that day, Mia had kept her distance.

Maybe Mia's false assurance was what made Ruby's heart drop to the pit of her stomach, when she noticed the illicit pair sharing a drink at the bar, their eyes never leaving the others. There he was with his big kind smile and a sweet reply to follow Mia's question. The sight almost gave Ruby a heart attack.

Mia and Will spoke all night, while Ruby stared from the other side of her friend. She wondered if Mia ever asked herself if she had crossed the line over the course of the night. Ruby's eyes stuck on the pair, while she danced alone. She noticed everything; the lasting looks, the exchanged chuckles and lingering touches. No one looked at her.

The neon lights flashed every once in a while, exposing the sweat on the crowds' faces. Some moved to the beat, while others stood awkwardly, with their drinks in hands and eyes on others. Ruby broke her gaze away when she felt her heart's pace rush quicker. A fire was brewing in her chest while she held her breath. The burn wasn't only beneath her ribs, but also behind her eyes. What was she supposed to do with her heart? She didn't know where it would go, because Mia's words seemed empty at that moment. Was her new friend going to break the girl code?

They didn't even glance when she left the illicit couple at the bar with her drink. It was only 11 p.m. and she left. The whole walk home, she played over the whole situation. She thought about the late night drink she went on with Anton, Will and Julie, when Will gave her his jacket and walked her home with Anton. She thought about the morning he sat by her in class and drew flowers all over her notebook. She thought about the day she invited him to watch the Christmas lights with her and that happy feeling she felt when he said yes.