The Club

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It was your time. You didn't know anyone but you didn't care. The club was dark, lit with blue and pink LEDs. You were going to have a good night. You moved passed the bouncer, passed the line for the bathroom, and shuffled your way through the crowd without angering anybody. You never needed anyone, nothing ever worked out in your favor, you were left alone. You always try to channel the pain away by learning or getting super immersed in something that could give you some sort of clarity, some sort of understanding, but the pain always seeped through. There's no one you could talk to that could understand. You needed to forget. And at that moment, sounding from the speakers, "I been spending more on my safety"- You stood stunned. You thought of texting Sera "DESTROY LONELY PLAYING IN THIS CLUB", but decided you might miss it, so you'll text her later. Looking around, you're surrounded by the silhouettes of heads. Smoke drifted above the pink and blue LEDs creating an entrancing ambiance. Again, "I been spending more to live safely". The room was almost too dark to recognize faces. You smiled with a tear in your eye, whispered, "thanks guys"  to the universe while looking up to the ceiling, and zoned with the beat. "Every time I relocate, I'm going brazy"- Your palms on your side moving up your body, "Roll up another one, I can't see shit, my vision hazy"- Eyes closed, your hands intertwine over your head, move behind your neck and slide back. You lose yourself in the music. You forget. You're no longer there, you exist in the music.

When the song ends you immediately go to text Sera, but before you get the chance to text "DUDE they're playing DESTROYLOBELY IN THE CLYB", you see she's already texted you. You read: "DUDE I kid you not there's a sign out here that says Destroy Lonely After Party".

You freeze. Could you actually meet Lone tonight? Could something go your way? You knew it wouldn't. You thought "he's probably not even here. He probably won't even show up. If it was a real after party they would have kept it on the low rather than advertise it. It was probably just a way to get more people and more money". You try to push away the hurt that having hope would cause and choose to forget as the speakers sound, "Baby, yeah, I'm flew, yeah I'm fly". At this point you're interacting with everyone around you and they love you for getting them hype. You motion to and acknowledge a group to your left rapping, "I'm on the way to you right now, so don't you cry", and they smile. You drop it low. They throw it back. Another group apparently saw you and they grab you to dance with them,and you hype em up as they throw it back on you.

Once the song is over you head to the front to get some air before somebody else pulls you over. You go to text Sera, but your screen turns on and it says, "23 minutes disabled" from hitting it while dancing. Slightly worried you exit the club uncertain what you should do. You don't think Sera and them would leave you, and you're in a reasonably safe area, so you decide to take a walk around the block before someone from inside notices you and tries to pull you back in. The reality that you won't see him and you're going to have to go back to life soon pains you. It's a bit chillier outside now, and you look up to the moon wondering if you'll be happy again. You live for the hope of having a conversation with someone who's playful yet understands, and can make life better to the point that you could get through anything. It's been so long since you've been happy, you've been going through it, and all you want is someone genuine to be there and help make life enjoyable again.

Suppressing tears, knowing emotional distress leads to acne, you take a deep breathe and try to have some sort of faith. As you turn the corner, life feels like a dream. It's. Lone. You and Destroy Lonely lock eyes under the dark sky and city lights. You don't know each other but you can see he sees you- it's as if you're communicating without talking. You know you're a baddie, but don't see how he could approach you since you're no one in the eyes of society. Still, he starts in your direction. Will this last more than a moment? Could this be fate and a reason for both of you to keep living?

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