Ollie's Pack: Season 2

Jersey Kids

Part 1:

(Bell ringing)

Ollie: Stupid supremacist asshole! Don't you understand what ignorant prejudice like that can lead to? I have to disapprove Turner's hateful, racist, offensive, cruel, unacceptable rumors!

Cleo: Dude, what's the big deal?

Bernie: What's the big deal? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?! DON'T YOU SEE TURNER IS BEING HATEFUL AS PER USHE?!

Stacy: Right this way! I'm sorry, but you can't eat in the cafeteria!

Freckled Girl: How come?

Jo-Jo: New Jerseyites eat in the hallway!

Pyper: Yeah, go on, beat it, bitch!

Bernie: There! You see?! This is what happens when Turner is allowed his right to free speech!

Ollie: I agree, Bernie, this is the LAST time he gets away with his actions and antics! I'm giving a speech tomorrow about people from Jersey.

(The Next Day...)

Ollie: And so, black hair, cherokee skin, and some freckles are all passed down genetically. A child's black hair is not determined by the lack of a soul, but by the melanins which control the pigment in all of our skins. Thank you.

Mr. Stkrdknmibalz: Okay, very nice, Ollie. A little dry and scientific for my taste, but there you go.

(the bell rings)

Mr. Stkrdknmibalz: All right, that's lunch, students. We'll pick up with Cleo's speech about masculine cheerleaders after recess.

Zach: That was a very cool informative speech, Ollie!

Ollie: Thanks, Zach.

Turner: Informative and cool if you want to die. Guys, don't forget. Bernie and Ivy are day-and-night-walkers. Day-and-night-walkers are half-hispanic themselves. Make no mistake: latinos are evil. Look, I'm just saying what everyone else already thinks: Latinos are creepy. And one night, when you're all sleepin' in your room, the latinos are gonna get you. They're gonna CATCH YOU ALL!

(Michael screams and tries to run, but Tyler stops him)

Tyler: Don't even listen to him, nor think about it, Mike.

Ollie: So this also happens, I didn't expect that...

Cleo: That's just wrong, dude. I wish Turner could see what it felt like to be from Jersey.

Ollie: Wait a minute...Cleo, you gave me a great idea! Can you guys meet me over at Turner's house tonight at around midnight? We're gonna teach that black bastard a lesson!

Bernie: Sure, but how?

Capt. Wowski: You'll soon find out...

(Turner's house, midnight. Turner's snoring. Ollie, Capt. Wowski, Bernie and Cleo pop up outside his window and open it. They climb in. Cleo motions Bernie to Turner's door, and Bernie walks over to close it. Capt. Wowski quickly goes to Turner's desk and takes out some makeup - skin bleach, hair color, henna kit - and some yellow latex gloves.)

Capt. Wowski: Okay, Ollie, knock him out.

(Ollie takes out a small club and beats Turner with it once. He looks at him with a pissed look in his eyes. His short temper got the best of him and starts beating him more. After five blows, the CW rushes over to stop him.)