lana del rey imagines

ꨄ︎ we fell in love in october ꨄ︎

sing lana a song!!!

win her heart again i'm begging 😩

lana how could you

"Okay, what should I sing now? Maybe one with the guitar."

Getting up from your seat to go in search of your instrument, you release the breath you were holding. It's funny how you convince yourself every day that you're over Lana and here you are, wishing she wasn't on the other side of that screen but right next to you, holding your hand, kissing your cheek, making you laugh with her witticisms.

"All right," you say once back in front of the camera, taking a quick but inattentive glance at the comments. "The next cover will be the last one. I hope you like it, though."

You shouldn't, a small rational voice warns you inside your head. But your fingers are already moving softly across the guitar strings, the first notes beginning to delight your audience.

Lana knew that joining you live would be a mistake but she couldn't help it when she got the notification.

She didn't join right away so as not to be noticed. And when she finally did, you were in the middle of a Q&A with followers. Seeing your face and hearing your voice after so long had her heart twisting against her chest the whole time. But you singing melancholy songs was what made her barely stable world start to collapse.

Lana was being so strong, as much as you, whose voice full of emotion didn't even tremble once, but the new song you chose to sing is her downfall.

october passed me by just like any month
but i still think of the times you took the breath out of my lungs
you don't have to run

Lana's vision begins to blur with tears, this time worse.

You two fell in love in October.

you know this song is about you, who else could it be?
you were the first to make me feel like i was me

The comments section goes wild.

A certain spectator, a certain woman, on the other hand, is forced to pull off the road when the first tears fall. The pain is too much to deal with.

i made you my whole world
screaming at the top of my lungs: i love you, my girl
always in the back of my mind, you'll be my girl

If three minutes ago you thought this was a terrible idea, the tear that escapes without your permission makes you reaffirm that, as well as making you feel rather pathetic. It's definitely been enough, almost 14k people don't deserve to see you weeping over your ex.

After a bye, take care, accompanied by a broken smile, you finish the live.

An overwhelming silence envelops Lana when that happens, and in the privacy of her car she does nothing but shake slightly due to her sobs. Ripping you out of her heart is the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. She just can't-she never could. That's why she welcomed you with open arms when you showed up in front of her door asking for a second chance.

But it didn't work, again.

Letting you go for the second time was even more painful than the first, and Lana promised herself that it would never happen again; that there would be no more hellos that would later end in devastating goodbyes.

And here she is, wanting to run back to you in spite of everything.

"I'm so stupid..." You mutter through gritted teeth after leaving the living room and heading towards the kitchen to wash your half-empty mug. "What was I thinking?"

After you take out your anger with your poor cup and a couple of utensils, you are drying your hands when your feet move in the direction of the fridge. There's a Polaroid attached with a heart-shaped magnet on the door. When your friend visited you she scolded you, saying it was time for you to get rid of it, but you never did. She's still my friend, you fought back.

You take the picture, inspecting it carefully. Both Lana and you have such bright smiles plastered on your faces, transmitting a happiness so genuine, a love so special and strong....

Your loved ones tell you that you must forget about her, cut her out of your life even, because otherwise you will never be truly happy, but you refuse. Lana didn't hurt you, she didn't shatter your heart into pieces or make you feel not good enough or unloved. She actually loved you so fucking much, you can still remember all the times she held you in her arms as if she was never going to let you go. And even though she did, you did too.

And on days like today, you wish you hadn't.

You return the Polaroid to its respective place and leave the kitchen. Your house, so small and quiet, feels big and lonely and is suffocating you with memories. Desperate, you rush to open the door and step out into the front yard.

You breathe in the refreshing autumn air, allow the sun's rays to warmly caress your face, but the pressure in your chest doesn't go away. It hurts.

"Fuck," you whisper, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks. "Fuck!"

Just as you're violently turning on your heels to go cry your eyes out for hours, you hear the horn of a car, which is braked abruptly in front of your property.

The thought of being one of your friends after they saw your pitiful live has you slowly turning around, defeatedly accepting that you will have to deal with them whether you like it or not.

But the person your eyes meet is not the one you were expecting under any circumstances.

You freeze in place as you watch Lana approach.

"I know, I know," she says, fighting back her own tears. "We said that splitting up was the best thing to do, that we tried. But did we? Because-- I can't stop thinking-- What if we didn't?"

Lana tries to smile, because seeing you in person again makes her poor heart so happy, but her sadness is greater just now. Because this whole situation is fucked up.

"I need you." She admits, shrugging as tears fall. "And I love you and I miss you and fuck -- I really try not to, I do. But I can't. I can't."

You two stare into each other's eyes with such intensity, with so much unsaid, Lana is expecting the worst, convinced that she fucked everything up.

"Lana..."

And that's all you manage to say before you break the distance and throw yourself into her arms. She catches you at the same time a sob full of relief blossoms from the depths of her chest and slips heartbrokenly through her lips. You hide your face in the crook of her neck, finally sobbing as you so desperately needed to. Hands clutch at her back, and you cry harder. She's real, she's here, with you, and you feel like you can breathe properly again.

"I need you, too," you assure her, drawning away just enough to be able to look into her beautiful, crystallized green orbs. "In case singing you a bunch of songs wasn't enough of a hint."

Lana chuckles slightly, your heart growing twice its size. Her hand comes to rest behind your head oh so gently, pulling you close until your foreheads are gently touching. You can't help but close your eyes for a second, enjoying the closeness, the warmth, the intimacy of the moment. And you want to stay here forever.

"You'll always, always be my girl too, honey."

And just like that, you two fall back in love once again in October.

***