you're on your own, kid

three) just to learn that you never cared;

***

July 28th, 1981

The air around the Harrington's had always felt sort of...uncomfortable. The strange structure and size of the place was off-putting even in the daylight. It was part of the reason she and Steve spent a majority of their time there inside.

The interior left a lot to be desired, too, and it had always been clear that the only person that lived there full time was Steve, But despite that, he had always seemed comfortable when she was with him, and she had always felt like her home was with him, so it made sense that she never felt out of place there. But that day was different.

They had both been dreading this day since before the summer had even started. Her aunt had called in May and invited Addison and Sherry to visit her on the West Coast. Addy had hoped that her mother would turn her down, and Sherry had tried, but when her aunt insisted and offered to pay for everything, that was something not even Sherry would refuse, and she wouldn't let Addison refuse it either.

So for the next two months, she and Steve had been dreading the end of July because it would mark the start of her two week trip and the longest that they would ever be apart. No seeing each other, no phone calls, and no sneaking in through each other's windows when one of them was having a particularly rough night. She knew that anything could happen while she was gone. She had just hoped that it wouldn't be the first time in a long time that his parents would decide to roll into town.

It hadn't been long into their friendship when Steve and Addy discovered that they shared similar home situations. Despite Steve's family being better off financially, their parents were cut from the same cloth. Steve's family had always been obsessed with status, with turning Steve into someone exactly like them: cold, calculated, no emotion, tearing someone they're supposed to love to shreds because he isn't meeting the insane expectations they set for him. They even hated the fact that Steve was friends with her, someone with no money or social status. Sherry, on the other hand, was similar in the way that she ripped Addy to shreds, made her feel worthless and unlovable, and put seeds of doubt about others into her head. It didn't help that she would also scream, and yell, and usually come home so drunk that she didn't know where she was. She often used all of their money on alcohol, so there were times when their apartment didn't have food, water, or electricity. At least she had Steve, the Byers, Charlie, and the Munsons. She would have been a goner without them for sure.

She remembers how...final it had all felt, and it had caused a fear in her bones she hadn't felt again until Will went missing. She couldn't stay long, either. In hindsight, that made it much worse.

Steve met her at the door and pulled her into an embrace so tight that she can still feel it if she tries hard enough. She buried her face against him as she did her best to hold back tears, attempted to get lost in his familiar scent of vanilla and sandalwood, but Steve wasn't successful in doing so, and neither was she.

She doesn't remember how long they stood in the foyer of the Harrington's and clung to each other like a lifeline while they both cried, but when both of them finally ran out of tears, he pulled away just enough to look at her. She thought her heart was going to explode right out of her chest when he cupped her cheek and wiped a few of her stray tears away.

"We're gonna be okay," he said as he clearly tried to convince them both.

"We're gonna be okay," she repeated back, because as scary as it was, as much as she was dreading it, she and Steve had survived worse both together and apart. They had helped each other through so much and were so at peace when they were together. She had been unable to imagine any version of her life without him in it. She still can't. She had been so sure that they would be fine.