The Wrong Side of Heaven

Chapter 16

She drags me to my old room as I wave at my Aunt Linda behind me. Elena drops down on my bed just like old times and I sit on my fuzzy rug. "So have you banged that sexy boss of yours yet?"

My eyes widen and I laugh. "No, I most definitely haven't."

I pause and she raises an eyebrow. "It sounds like there's a but. Is there a but?" she asks excitedly.

I groan as I fall back onto the floor. I stare up at the ceiling as I try to process my thoughts. "He kissed me."

She shrieks in excitement as she joins me on the floor. "Tell me everything."

"There's nothing to tell. I was shocked and I walked away."

"Was there tongue?"

"Of course. We're adults," I chuckle. "It was by far the best kiss I've ever experienced. The kind of kiss you feel throughout your whole body."

She smiles, genuinely seeming to be excited for me. "Why did you walk away? You should've taken advantage of him."

I turn my head to look at her. "Can we be serious about this? I'm so confused and can't talk to anyone else about this."

She nods and I go into story mode. I tell her all about our little moments we've had. I thought he was extremely attractive when I met him - I still do - but the idea of ever being with him seemed so far from reality that I never really allowed myself to imagine being with him. I go into detail about my date with Devin and she immediately makes a face. She hasn't exactly been a fan of him since he ditched me in high school. I never even told her about the time we hooked up at his graduation party until now. It's very clear that she prefers the idea of me being with Jay. "Team Jay, all the way," she chants. "See. It even rhymes. It's meant to be."

I roll my eyes. "There are no teams. He wasn't even existent in my love life until recently when he put himself there."

"I get it," she shrugs. "But at some point you have to realize there's better things out there. You finally got out of William's grip. Devin pops back into your life and you go back to feeling like you're in high school again because it's a safe place. Jay could be the best option but you won't allow yourself to see that because you're have some white picket fence idea in your mind about the guy you lost your virginity to." I open my mouth to protest but she put her hand up effectively stopping me. "I'm not saying go sleep with him or even date him. I'm just saying you should keep an open mind. You never know what life has in store for you."

While she may be right, I simply cannot picture myself with Jay. He's sexy as hell and can be incredibly sweet at times. For example, the picnic, washing my hair, sleeping beside me to comfort me and more. But his life is so complicated. He isn't the type to settle down. He said it himself. The more I think about it, the bigger my headache gets. Why does life have to be so difficult?

A few more minutes pass before my mom calls us out for dinner. Dinner is filled with lots of laughter and catching up. My Aunt Linda went on her first date since the passing of my uncle three years ago. She complains of how difficult it is to meet people and says the dating world is terrible. Apparently a week after her date, she ran into the guy at the grocery store with his wife and teenage daughter. Now she feels like she'll never have the opportunity to meet a good man. And here I am with two good men at my feet and I'm clueless as to what I should do. I sigh. I'm getting ahead of myself here. I don't actually know what either of their intentions are. Maybe they both just want sex. My mind trails back the the picnic. Jay is incredible and I swear his lips were magical. I get the familiar pull deep inside as I think about his lips on mine - the way his tongue gently caressed mine. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to experience that feeling again. It's all I can think about since it happened. Restlessly tossing and turning in bed last night as I imagined his lips on me.

My phone vibrates in my pocket so I quickly check it beneath the table. It's Devin asking me to stop by when I leave my parents. I no longer feel like the love struck teenage girl like I did when we ran into each other last month. My heart is conflicted. I quickly text back agreeing to see him after. After a couple more hours with my family, I decide it's time to go. My mother makes me promise to visit her for my upcoming birthday. Most likely to prepare another feast. I dread the thought of being another year older. Devin lives about fifteen minutes minutes away so it doesn't take long before I'm knocking at his door. He's dressed down today in a simple shirt and jeans. He greets me on the porch with a soft kiss and I can't help but compare his lips to Jay's.

What has Jay done to me?

"Hey beautiful. How are you?" he asks as he wraps his arms around me.

"I'm good. It's been a crazy week so I'm glad I have the day off," I sigh, looking up into his eyes.

"Spend the night with me then," he insists. "We'll watch a movie and share some snacks."

It sounds nice and I could use some time away from the house. I technically don't need to be back until the morning. "I don't have any clothes or... or a toothbrush."

He chuckles. "I always keep one on hand for when I need to switch. I have everything you need, I promise. You can wear one of my shirts tonight. Or nothing at all. Your choice."

I laugh a little. "Fine."

We enter the house where he takes me into the bathroom to show me where the necessities are. There's a brand new toothbrush and a travel sized toothpaste beside it. We then go into his bedroom where he takes out a shirt and places it on the bed. When he turns to me, my lips capture his and he pulls away in surprise. After looking at me for a moment, he pulls me to his chest and kisses me as if his life depended on it. My fingers tug the hem of his shirt up and he pulls away to remove it. He quickly pulls mine off before taking a short moment to admire my body. I unbutton my jeans and sit on the edge of the bed as I remove them. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just came over to take advantage of me," he chuckles.

But I did. I came here fully intending to have sex with him. I've had so much pent up frustration that just needs to be released. I'm sure he had the same expectations. He pushes me back on the bed and removes my panties. My skin heats with desire as I squirm beneath his gaze. Kneeling at the end of the bed, he parts my thighs and slowly trails kisses to the apex of my my thighs. His tongue gently circles my clit causing me to close my eyes and moan. He slowly slides two fingers into my entrance, happy to find that I'm soaking wet. His fingers slide in and out while his tongue works it's magic. The thought Jay's head between my thighs sends me over the edge. My body constricts around his fingers as I attempt to catch my breath.

Guilt consumes me when I realize that I just finished while imagining it was another man. How can a single kiss affect me so much?