My First Love [Spencer Reid Fanfic - 1]

Chapter 61 - A Higher Power

"He's spending time with his son." Rossi replied, not giving any further explanation. I bet the divorce has been finalized. The entire situation has been hard on Hotch.

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Once we arrived at Pittsburgh, Rossi asked me and Spencer to go through Paul's journals to see if he was suicidal. Morgan was still adamant that this case was pointless and I really wanted to prove he was wrong.

"According to this, Paul Baleman was really depressed after the loss of his child." I commented.

Spencer finished scribbling on the white board and turned to me. "Do you think he committed suicide?"

I sighed and flipped the page. "He wrote a lot about not finding the strength to move on despite his best efforts." I placed the journal on the table and grabbed my phone. "It's time to call the big guns." I smirked.

"Queen of All Knowledge at your disposable." Garcia answered.

I smiled at her goofy reply. "Pen, I need you to find a connection between all the victims."

"Alright, Sugar." She started typing as fast as she could, which was super fast by the way. "All of them lost a kid at the Shadyside Recreational Center fire three months ago."

"How many children died?" I asked with knitted eyebrows.

"Oh God." Garcia whimpered. "Fourteen children."

I glanced at Spencer. "Thanks, P." I disconnected the call. "I think we have enough evidence to work on the Angel of Death theory."

"Of course." Spencer started writing frantically on the board. "In his eyes, these killings are merciful. A means to end the suffering."

"Something the unsub experienced in the past." I added.

"Morgan was wrong." Spencer stated and I nodded. Rossi was right, we had a case and it was time to profile the unsub. I still believed that Paul Baleman truly committed suicide.

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Beth Smoler was found hanged at her house while her baby boy was in the other room. Even though she lost a child in the fire, she didn't show any signs of suicidal tendencies. The unsub was escalating.

It was time to deliver the profile and I could tell Morgan was uncomfortable. Rossi stood in the middle of the room and looked at everyone there. "We're looking for a white male in his mid to late 30s." He started. "He's polite, forthcoming, confident, earnest, friendly, charming and doesn't stand out."

"The victims allow him to enter their houses voluntarily because he doesn't impose a threat and they trust him." Morgan stated.

"The unsub is an Angel of Death which means he believes he's on a mission to save the people from further suffering and he probably works in the medical field or has a position in law enforcement." Emily explained.

"He most likely suffered a major tragic event that triggered his need to kill someone who was miserable at the time and he perceived as a cry for help." I added.

Spencer glanced around the room. "Choosing who lives and dies gives him a great sense of power and even after his arrest he most likely will maintain his innocence, claiming he did nothing wrong."

"The fire fueled his need to play God and, because he craves power and control, he will keep killing without feeling any guilt." Rossi finished. "Thank you."

We all dispersed and I noticed something in Paul's journal. There was a story about a man who talked about his brother and how he committed suicide because he couldn't live with the abuse he suffered from his father.

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Garcia was able to identify the unsub with the details provided by Paul's journal. His name was Peter Redding and he killed his brother to save him from his father's abuse. Ronnie Baleman was not pleased by the evidence confirming his brother's suicide and I really felt bad for him.

When I arrived home, Matt was in his pajamas drinking a bottle of vodka while watching some reality show. How can people watch those?

"Hey Matty!" I greeted him as I grabbed a pair of socks from the floor and sat next to my stinky brother. "You need a shower."

"No..." He trailed off. "I need to forget that Rain exists."

I sighed and snatched the bottle from his hands. "Denying someone's existence will not stop your pain." I tilted his chin up and stared deeply into his blue eyes. "If you love Rain, just tell her. You never had the guts to do anything about it and it's all your fault."

"But..."

"But nothing, Matthew!" I scowled at him. "Rain is the best girl I've ever met and she loved you for so many years and you never did anything about it." I sighed loudly. "Now, you either fight for her, or move on. I will not allow you to mope around and fixate on someone who's probably unattainable." I stood up proudly and extended him my hand. "We're Porters. We're fighters and strong and fearless."

Matt grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. "Thanks, CeCe. You're the best sister ever." I smiled at him and pulled away from his embrace. He needed a good pep talk.

"The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering." - Ben Okri