"la oscuridad del pasado"

Chapter #2 talking to an angel

They are given the option to choose between life and death when the veil rises, calling death and goddess eternally upon an innocent human life. When it is our time to depart, a fallen angel will call our name after one, dreadful, ancient many lifetimes. melded together white wheels and wings. The guileless devil, however, does not. A handsome or perhaps lovely person with some goathorns, hooves, and a scarlet tail is standing next to them, next to a fallen angel. All of the souls who once were fallen angels themselves are like the underworld deity Hades wearing a dead human soul.  there is something so comforting about sadness. about throwing things on your bedroom floor and not picking them up. about binging reality tv in the dark for 14 hours straight. about lying in your bed and not moving while the world continues to turn around you. overwhelming and heavy depression is comforting because it's familiar. it allows you to sink into yourself and rot there for as long as you want. thats the vicious cycle with depression, it takes everything to not give into the comfort and familiarity that comes with it. I didn't see it then, but, I in exchange had to sacrifice my mental health to be a therapist friend. some people choose to hide their wounds that they will probably never forget in their life. about losing someone they once loved in their life. I didn't want you to leave because I knew you would take a part of me with you. and I miss our friendships late night talks and I know I have to heal from this situation. its like everyone stays we have to evolve before they do and thats okey. We are not those little kids who used to be afraid of dying. Sometimes I cry when I remember her I know the pain never goes away she was taken to young just 18. June would've been her 18th birthday. cradling them into your arms, blood smearing all over you^ they try to smile, followed by an immediate hiss "it hurts, huh.""shh, it's gonna be fine. please keep talking." "i can't.. t-talk-"their blood smudged hand reach for your cheek. eyes trying to focus on you"i.. love you.""this is not your fault." "i can't.. *tearing up* i can't feel your touch." eyes tearing up, not knowing what to tell you"it hurts so much, it's so.." frustrated tears flow because there's nothing they can do now "please don't leave me.." "i want to rest, my love."hugging them, saying something to them and then panicking, when they don't respond. wincing between every word. "I'm- so...so sorry."  "You're my heaven o-on earth, did you k-know that? :)" followed my an attempt at a smile that shreds you apart. constant shortness of breath.they take your hand and kiss it, griping it tight. it's when their grip loosens, you know..."You've to live your life, [name]. You need to survive, and move on, and-and be.. happy. The happiest. just like i am now. "why are you happy--now?" "because i get to die in your arms. the safest place.."noticing a tear rush down their cheek after they've closed their eyes."no, no-no, fuck, leticia, don't give up on me like that, please-please.. stay..""I'm gonna get you--" "no, no, no.. no don't. don't l-leave me alone, [name]. I can't br-breathe...""let go of me, love, I'm gonna sleep now."lying near their cold unmoving body \^ holding their limb hand, praying that this is all a nightmare and then you can wake up to their cheerful self. stupid hope.