Does He love you ?

Part 19 ( Amy)

Mark  and I were finally getting the help we needed (despite his reluctance at first). Some of those issues we were having, seemed to be fading into the background. I didn't want to say everything was perfect but we were starting to communicate a little better than we had been in previous months. I had invited De-Dee on the double date because I thought it could do no harm and she's a nice girl. Tyler's a good guy and I need to get that out of my system if I want to make my marriage work. So maybe there was a method to my madness after all. I think I just needed to make sure that the kiss we shared was just that. A kiss. A mistake we made that won't ever happen again. I heard the low whistle come from behind me and turned to find Mark's very admiring gaze fixed on my lower region. Did my dress really look that good?

"You know. Maybe we should just cancel and stay home," he suggested.

I put the earring in and smiled at him. It felt good to know my husband still found me attractive. There was hope for us yet. He slid his arms around me.

"I mean it. Call them off. Just you and me tonight babe."

"Come on Mark. This was my idea. We can't just back out. We've already got the babysitter."

"I know. She's here but we could get a room somewhere, call Tyler and De-Dee, tell them you've come down with something and spend a few hours alone." Kissing me with more passion that he ever had done.

"MarkI love you but let's do this. De-Dee's a nice girl and I don't want her to think I go back on my word. I promised her it wouldn't be like a real first blind date. Just dinner and drinks with us and Tyler . No strings attached."

"Maybe afterward then?"

Was I really not letting him have any? I was trying to be there in every capacity but I thought we should get back to the basics before we started back to the intimate again. Plus, I was still very confused about my feelings for Tyler . I knew I shouldn't be confused about something I had no right to be but maybe the reason was I wasn't remaining true to the man I married. "I promise." Kissing him one last time before I went to the closet to retrieve my shoes.

Dinner was going well but I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that De-Dee had more than just a friendship thing going with my husband. Maybe I was wrong but I caught them glancing at one another more than once. Mark was holding my hand underneath the table; pulling it toward the tightness in his slacks. I just prayed that was for me and not little miss hot to trot. Like I said, she's a nice girl but she has a body any man would jump at the chance to have a part of. I knew Tyler had made reference to her in that way. He didn't know how bad I was feeling that night so it really wasn't his fault but when we kissed that night. That's what confused me. I wasn't sure what was going on in the boy's head. Wasn't sure I wanted to know. It meant I'd have a reason as to why I felt the way I did.

His eyes landed on me more than a few times but De-Dee had his full attention. At least he was trying. Mark didn't even try to hide the fact he was ogling the cleavage of her blouse. I excused myself to go to the ladies room and checked myself in the mirror. Something was definitely not right. My body ached in places they shouldn't for Tyler . I didn't want to believe I could feel the way I felt for Mark for another man. It wasn't plausible in my book. Taking out my lip gloss, I opened the tube just as De-Dee appeared in the mirror behind me.

"Is everything okay Amy?"

Turning back to her, I replied, "What gave you the idea that it wasn't?"

"Well you rushed in here pretty quickly. I told Mark I'd come check on you. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. The wine just made me a little lightheaded."

"Anything I can do?"

"It's just gonna have to pass." I couldn't tell her the real reason was so I didn't have to feel Tyler s big, beautiful brown eyes on me while my husband pulled my hand to his crotch for some relief when I needed some myself. I knew it was wrong and I knew we needed to get out of there fast. At this point, I was really considering a little public display of affection just to get Tyler out of my system. "Plus we need to be getting home anyway. The babysitter called and said Jordan  was running a temperature and was asking for her Daddy." I never lied to anyone in my life. Ever. Why did I have to start using my children to get out of an uncomfortable situation?