Lavender & Ice

45. Nothing Good

Kietnan rubbed his head. "I'm not expecting much. But since I am not allowed anywhere near that beacon, all I can do is research everything I can in an effort to just feel like I am doing something. Anything to feel like I'm not just letting her go willingly. Anything I can do to not be so angry with myself for being so useless."

"I see." After a long pause Kahal continued. "Have you spoken to mother and father yet?"

"I hardly see a reason to."

"At least give father a moment of your time, he is full of guilt and regret. He wants to apologize."

"And I should just put him out of his misery? I see a reason to give him relief from his pain when I cannot receive any."

"It is unlike you to be petty, brother."

"Petty." He chuckled. "I am hardly myself these days. I fear I never will be again." He said sadly.

"Perhaps, if you speak with Father you can convince him to use the beacon."

At this, Kidman finally turned away from the images and text he was pretending to study and faced his brother with a sigh. "To what purpose?"

"How could you possibly ask what purpose?"

"She wanted to leave, Kahal. Even if she did want to say goodbye, she wanted to leave." He turned his back to his eldest brother and had the library pull up the images of their solar system.

"Brother..." Kietnan spoke softly, sadly.

"It is true. I may know that she loved me in return, but I also know she would not have been happy staying here with me. Our people were too cruel, too prejudiced. They pushed her away and she never would have felt like this was her home."

"You are trying to rationalize this."

"And what is it I am supposed to do instead?"

Kahal sighed. "Just start by talking with Father. Make amends. Or at least just let him speak his mind and get it over with."

"And Mother?"

"She will come around. You know how stubborn she becomes when she realizes she made a mistake. It takes her ages to admit it."

Kietnan scoffed as he sat on the floor and leaned against a wall. "It hardly seems she will ever. Which is exactly my point. Ashima didn't want to stay here and cause division amongst our family, or our people. She was obviously wise in her predictions. Now leave, and let me wallow in my uselessness a little longer. Sitting here looking at space makes me feel closer to her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ashima, how are you feeling?"

"How long was asleep? I feel terrible."

"Perhaps everything you've gone through is just catching up with you now that you're with us, in a safe environment. I'm sure you needed the rest. Here is some water, a pain reliever, and some soup.

"Thank you. I'm sure that will help." But once she took a bite, she ended up eating the entire bowl of soup. "How long did you say I've been sleeping?"

"There, I'm sure you're feeling better already with a full stomach and refreshment. But, I'm sure your head is still pounding after all of that deep sleep, take the pain reliever and we will talk about everything. About what happened and how we can get you back to your people.

Ashima nodded. Putting the pill in her mouth and swallowing some water, she said. "Let me use the bathroom first." 

The woman nodded and watched as Ashima went to the adjoining bathroom. Once inside, Ashima spit the pill into the toilet, did her business quickly, flushed and washed her hands. As she exited the bathroom, she made it a point to stagger her steps, and shake her head. As if trying to fight off dizziness.