Arranged love

the wedding

Walking down the aisle with over five hundred eyes on me was intense and I might have been on the verge of throwing up. I have no problem with being in the spotlight at work, but in my personal life, I prefer to fly under the radar. Today however I'm at the center of attention in a dress that stands out like a spotlight constantly being turned towards me.

There are psalms, hymns, and reading of the gospel among other things that we need to go through before we get to the pain part of the ceremony.

We are told to join hands for the first time during the ceremony and I finally get a good look at him. William Hilton is a stud, that much is obvious. With his dirty blond hair, tall lean body, and crystal blue eyes he isn't hard to look at. That face too is something you just can't look away from, especially when the piercing look from his eyes meets yours. It's like he is trying to see deep into my soul, into the core of who I am with just a simple look. It gets too intense after mere seconds, so I focus on another part of his face to keep up the act that we are so in love we can't look away from one another.

"Juliet and William, have you come here to enter Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"

"I have" we both confirm. It's not true, it's the first lie I'm saying here today. We were coerced, bordering blackmailed.

"Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and to honor each other for as long as you both shall live?"

"I am," we say again but once again I know we are both lying our asses off. We don't know each other; how could we be even close to love?

*"Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

"I am" we confirm but inside I'm crossing my fingers for the lie and hoping I won't go to hell or something from lying in the house of god. I'm not religious, but everyone has their superstitions, I guess.

"William Matthew Hilton, do you take Juliet Victoria Fitzgerald for your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do." I can feel Will seeking eye contact, but I don't dare to meet it. Especially since I need to go through my part of the lie any second now.

"Juliet Victoria Fitzgerald, do you take William Matthew Hilton for your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

God, I want to flee right this second, but I can't, so I say what's expected of me "I do."

The wedding rings are blessed, and we go through the ritual of exchanging the rings with the words I had to memorize over the last two days. It would be embarrassing to get here, in front of all these people, and forget what I'm supposed to say when. I may or may not have spent hours online looking up every single part of a catholic wedding ceremony to know every step that follows. And then I might have made a list of what I needed to memorize and put it in a schedule so I could make sure I had it all done before the big day.

"I now pronounce you, Husband and Wife, you may kiss the bride" The words that sign our fates together are spoken, it's real now, we are officially married in the name of god and all that stuff.

Will cups my face and I'm forced to look at him. There is a moment of our eyes meeting before he brings his face close to mine for the symbolic kiss, tying the union.

His lips meet mine for the first time and they are so soft and perfectly sized to fit mine. My eyes flutter closed, even though I want desperately to keep them open. It feels nice, his lips are warm and inviting. But I know it's all an act, we are making it look romantic to fool all these people.

The kiss is over before I know it and the priest says the final words before we make our way down the aisle hand in hand. My hand is sweaty, but so is his so it's equally awkward for both of us, I'm sure.

The wedding coordinator is waiting right behind the door and escorts us into a waiting room where we are alone for the first time. The silence is deafening and hangs over us.

Standing here with the person I'm legally married to is surreal when we haven't even exchanged a single sentence before we were tied together. He doesn't know anything about me, and I know minimal about him. All I know is the reputation he has, which I don't like. If he is going to be my husband, he can't sleep around and make a fool out of me. I couldn't care less about him having sex with other people, that's not the problem, it's about the fact that if it gets out it will make him a cheater and me in a victim situation. I fucking hate being looked at like that, so he needs to keep his dick in his pants.

"So I guess you're Juliet," he says breaking the silence and I look at him "Yeah. And you must be William?" I say and he says he likes to be called Will, not William, but already heard that and have been referring to him as Will in my mind and to my friends.

Before we can say anything, Lilly comes into the room too with my mom and who I presume is Will's mom behind her. "Is this Will" Lilly asks me tugging at my hand. "Yes, this is Will. Will this is Lilliana" I introduce them.

Lilly stands in front of me, between me and Will, furrowing her eyebrows. It's funny to see his body go stiff and he keeps clenching and unclenching his hands, probably a nervous tick, as he looks at her.

"Are you going to be nice to my mom Willy?" she scrutinizes him, and I can see his throat gulp "Sure, of course" Why he is acting this way I don't know, maybe he isn't used to being around kids. Then he is in for a new ride for sure because Lilly isn't going anywhere.

"Are you going to buy me ice cream and play with me?" she continues, and he reacts the same way. It seems like he wants to flee the scene as he keeps eying the door when everyone in the room chuckles at her questions.

My new mother-in-law Celia Hilton introduce herself to me, and she is pleasant with a wide and warm smile. "This is your new dad, Lilliana," she says as she brings Lilly in for a hug, and I would choke if I was drinking something right now. Yeah, that's not going to happen. He might be my husband, but he is far from Lilly's dad. My daughter is not a pawn in this game they are making us play, she is innocent and needs to be kept out of it as much as possible.

Both Will and I say that he is in no way her "stepdad», but his mom ignores any remarks about that. I think I'm going to have my hands full with both my mom and his mom, so we will see how this is going to go. I already have one overbearing parent; I don't need that in my in-laws.

"You can call me Celia sweetie, and I'm so happy to have a daughter. I've always wanted one, but I just have two boys. You're welcome into our family, and so are your daughter and your parents. We are all one big family from now on" She wins points for that I guess, but I'm still hesitant. At least we will be included it seems like, so there is that I guess.

Both Celia and my mom are acting like this is just like a normal wedding, even though that's far from the truth. They gush like we have been in love for years and they have been waiting for this day since we first met.

Looking over at Will he seems just as tense as I am, at least it's not just me. Neither one of us wants to be here, let alone be married. I don't need to have an actual conversation with him to know that much. If there was a way out of this, I'm pretty sure both of us would be on the first train there.

God, I wish this day was over, but it's not. There is still the party ahead of us, and I just want to get it over with.

｡ﾟ•┈——୨♡୧——┈• ｡ﾟ

Okay, I get networking and how important it is, but a wedding isn't the place for it. People are coming up to us only to talk about work and want to make deals. In all honesty, I would much rather talk about work than any of this marriage stuff, but we are supposed to put on the show of our lives here today.

"That's about the hundred people trying to make a business deal so far" his voice is cold as ice, but I can hear an ounce of annoyance under the layers.

Looking over at my new husband I bite my lip to keep from chuckling as I wreck my brain for a response. Normally I have comebacks ready to go, but I don't know him well enough to know what to say, so I just say nothing and turn away from him again to greet the next guest.

It's going to be a long night, and I'm just ready for it to be over