Treasure [h.s]

| 24 - Dramatic Nap |

I've seen some people say that your soul can even jump from timeline to timeline, but I don't understand that. I could have been a cyborg, but I chose to die from a boo-boo liver? Make that make sense.

But... maybe others are right about your soul being connected to someone else's. In that case, I know why I chose this life. She was in it, after all. It wasn't a long life, but it was all worth it for her. I would do it for the rest of eternity for five more minutes with my pretty girl.

Is that an option? Who do I need to speak to about that? I get to choose that shit, right? Maybe I can come back as a cat or something and sit in her lap until we both die of old age like we were supposed to.

The Romans believed that concept to be untrue. If I were supposed to grow old, I would have. They call that predestination. You know, like every single event in your life is set in stone and no matter what you do, it was already bound to happen and there's nothing you could do to change it.

That's kind of a horrible way to look at things, but it also makes sense to me. There was nothing I could do to stop my sickness. I was always going to get sick, my cells were designed to kill themselves one day.

Forrest's mom called dying a vacation, which is when you go somewhere and you never come back. I wonder if she meant as yourself or at all. Maybe she thinks you only get one shot at life, for all of eternity. That's a little sad for people that didn't get a good one. People have died younger than me. Like... like her brother. I wonder if I'll meet him. He could probably show me the ropes of this place.

I don't have a favorite theory, but the one that keeps my internal peace is the soulmate one. The one where all of your soulmates are currently with you and will be in the next life, too. I know she's mine, and I know I'll see her again someday. I hope, anyway. This isn't anything like I imagined.

Maybe if I try hard enough, I can get some god-like powers and look at her from above. My own personal TV show. That would be a nice way to spend eternity. Besides like, the inevitable kissing and sheet tussling she'll have to do later in life. I mean, she didn't even say I love you to me, she'll move on someday. Ouch.

Speaking of God, is he supposed to come talk to me or something? I know I won't be chilling in his kingdom, but I'd like to get to where I'm going before much longer. Heaven is probably nice. I don't believe in that pearly gates stuff. It's probably full of things you love. Like your favorite pair of striped socks or that one song you remember even when you're piss drunk.

All of that seems nice, but I didn't get the bright lights and the life flashing before my eyes. All I see is... black. Just an empty void. Who had their bet on death being complete nothingness?

Perhaps purgatory is real and I'm just waiting for the actual show to start. Humans couldn't possibly imagine the beauty that happens after death, right? Our minds are so complex, but we have no certainty about what happens next, it must be something entirely unfathomable.

I guess the sucky part is that I thought the party would be over when in reality the party is still going on and I just had to leave it. Some people are probably lucky enough to be talked about even when they leave the party, but I never did try to make an impact like that.

My name will be whispered for the last time soon. The world keeps turning without me in it, and that's a humbling feeling. Do you have feelings after you die? I don't think so. I think that was just a fact.

The afterlife smells like coffee.

... and sounds like my espresso machine?

"How the fuck does he even use this? Where is the regular coffee option?"