A BookSocial Series book
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"Because when shit goes sideways we put on our best shoes, caffeinate and keep going."
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Elora Hutchins has it all, except for a social life outside her family unit. In an attempt to find more of a balance, she agrees...
"I'd do it if you asked me to, but I'd probably need bail money." She states.
"Which is probably why she's not asked you to." Gale quips.
"We'd have to get JB involved then and all hell could break loose," Jana responds, referring to our favorite author who always jokes about bailing us out.
"I'm already having flashbacks of Talia and Val." Gale states, referencing two women from our group JB actually did bail out after they ended up duped by some K-Pop fans at a concert last year.
An embarrassing story that I'm sure neither of them would ever like to revisit. Regardless, if every person in our group didn't love JB before that debacle, it definitely solidified his place in all of their hearts.
He's endeared himself to us so much over the last few years through his social media channels and kind gestures, despite no one knowing who the hell he is and me being fairly convinced he is actually a she. Nevertheless, their books along with the others have given me something priceless: an amazing community of friends that I wouldn't currently be able to survive without.
"I'd prefer to keep JB far out of this loop." I sigh.
Julien Beauchamp and I are friendly, but I'm still suffering from a little bit of imposter syndrome and dreading everyone finding out what's happening. And for some reason, I'm dreading JB finding out most of all.
"Oh El," Jana says, sadly. "I think he'd understand."
I shake my head, "No. The last thing I want to do is bother JB with this kind of drama. As a fan, that feels a little... untoward. Especially with such a momentous occasion coming up. This actually brings me to why I wanted to talk to you guys so badly tonight, though. I'm thinking about canceling my trip."
"WHAT." Yells Milly.
"NO." Jana whines.
"I second that, absolutely not!" Gale chirps.
"Guys, I'm getting a divorce. The ink will barely be dry on the paper. I'm not going to be in any kind of state to party and I don't want to dampen the mood." I sigh.
What I'm not saying: If I don't go, then I can put off telling the larger group a little while longer.
"Being newly single and needing a lift in your spirits is quite possibly all the reasons you SHOULD go," Gale states. "Think about it Elora, you've been on a revenge bod kick and the film festival is that weekend. There are going to be so many hot artistic types just dying to buy a girl like you a drink. You can enjoy being pampered by complete strangers for the weekend and go home renewed and ready to take on the new challenges of being a single mom OR you can just cancel your trip and wallow in self-pity."
Well, when she puts it like that.
"Damnit." I huff.
Even though I'm fairly certain the type of men she's talking about are looking more for a twenty-something fresh face than a thirty-something fresh divorcee with two kids.
Milly laughs, "That was a pretty good rebuttal, Gale."
"I just want to be able to hug my friend and be her wing girl for a weekend and lift her up." She states. "El, you need it."
"I agree," Jana responds.
"And how exactly am I supposed to explain to everyone when I show up and start letting random guys buy me drinks?" I refer to the fact that no one knows Logan and I have been separated, much less that I am now getting a divorce.
"Elora, you're going to have to tell everyone at some point." Jana says quietly, "And they are all going to understand."
I take another big gulp of my drink.
"What are you so afraid of?" Asks Milly.
"Are you guys serious? C'mon, you know what she's afraid of." Gale chimes in.
We all sit there in silence for a moment.
Finally, I sigh and quietly say, "Everyone thought we were so perfect together."
My chest feels like it's being squeezed in a vice, like a doll who's being held too tight by a child. The pain is so raw and excruciating. Swirling my drink around the glass, I come to the conclusion that no amount of alcohol is going to dull it.
Still, I take another sip.
"And you were." They say.
Squeeze.
"Until you weren't," Milly adds. "And that's okay too."
Squeeze, Squeeze.
I fight to take a deep breath and release it as I set my drink down on the side table.
They are right and I know it, but knowing doesn't always make it easier to accept something.
The problem with my little subgroup is we are all about being a no-judgment zone, whereas the group as a whole isn't always like that no matter how much they claim to be. We all know that though, so typically it goes without saying.
I try to switch tactics.
"I really also just don't want to pull everyone down, I'm in such a terrible place mentally and emotionally. This premiere is a big deal. How long have all of us waited for this?" I ask.
And it's true, none of the books had this much momentum going into a premiere. This was in part because the production company and director stacked up awards this past season and in part because Julian Beauchamp just has that big of a following.
"You're not going to pull anyone down." Gale snorts.
I feel like she's greatly underestimating my emotional state. In fact, they all are, but I don't point it out.
"If anything, you're going to give everyone a reason to rally around you and let their hair down a little more than usual." Milly chimes in.
I sigh and look over to where I know my plane tickets and itinerary sit on the kitchen desk.
"Okay. Fine." I say in defeat. "I'll go, but I'm still not ready to tell everyone yet so can we just, not."
"We'll figure it out as we go," Gale states.
"Sounds good." Jana and Milly reply.
"Also," I say more confidently. "I'm swearing off men. So if anyone is buying us drinks, that's it. They can treat us and then we send them on their way."
Milly sings, "But what if they're cute?"
"No. I'm definitely swearing off cute." I grimace. "I'm too old for cute anyways."
"Book boyfriend material?" Jana chimes in.
A scowl spreads across my face. "Fuck book boyfriend material. Definitely swearing off those fucking guys."
"Okay, we've got it." Gale says. "One and done drinks. It's a girls trip anyway. We don't need any drama or complications."
"Yep! This is going to be an epic, no-drama, zero-complications girls getaway!" Jana agrees.
"Right," I say.
We all sit in silence.
"Sooooo," Milly begins. "Did you really actually say 'clearly you were not just putting it in her ass after all' to him in front of her?"
To which we all bust out laughing at the absurdity that has become my life.
Word Count: 1518
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