Nowhere In Particular // H.S.

Thirty-Six: Reasons

I give him more than enough time to say something back, more than enough time for him to start explaining why this is only just now coming up... but he stays silent. He doesn't even mumble a word. He only stares at me like he's hoping that it will be enough for me to understand why he's done this.

His eyes move back and forth, changing directions. He looks at me, then to the spot of the table where my hand was, and then he looks at his hand, and then to the side again before his eyes return to mine. But still nothing close to an explanation leaves his mouth.

This only makes it worse. If he would just say something like "Sorry I lied to you, sorry I was being stupid, blah, blah, blah," if he would just ramble out his explanation in his normal way, I wouldn't feel so angry. But he doesn't, he just stays silent, almost pretending like this isn't a big deal... and no matter how much I try not to jump to other conclusions the only thing I can think about is how if he lied about this, he's probably lied about other things too.

It makes me question if I even know Harry, if anything has been real about this at all. This of course goes against my thoughts of me being a reasonable person because there have been plenty of moments between us that had to be real, and I know my emotions are getting the best of me. But really, I have every right to react this way.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," I say, frantically grabbing my things and scooting myself out of the booth we were eating breakfast in.

Again, maybe I am being unreasonable right now... but if he's not going to talk to me, if he's going to expect a complacent reaction from this news, I have no desire to be around him. Because the longer I wait for him, only to receive a blank stare in my direction, the more I feel like I'm going to be sick.

My stride away from our table is so fast that I'm on the verge of running. I hear Harry say my name again, this time sounding even more desperate than any time before, but I don't turn around. I don't give him the ease of mind that I'm not mad at him. He's had more than enough chances to explain to this me, I've brought it up on multiple occasions... and even now he's still deciding to stay silent.

I've put so much trust into Harry and within a matter of seconds it feels like it's all being ripped away. My head feels fuzzy as I storm through the door, still on the verge of running as I quickly move down the boardwalk, putting as much distance between myself and the restaurant as I possibly can.

Even if I tell myself not to look at Harry as I leave, even though I try to let my anger keep me from having any thoughts to how Harry feels, I still catch a glance of him through the window of the restaurant as I walk away. He's running, scrambling to pay the person at the counter, pulling at his hair, but I don't let his frantic pace stop me... I can't.

The farther I get away from the restaurant, the farther I'm away from Harry, and the closer I am to completely breaking down. I feel like if I was to stop walking, I'd just collapse and cry in the middle of this decently crowded place and I really don't like crying in front of people.

I still don't even know what's really going on. All I know is Harry lied to me, on multiple occasions and the realization of this, for the first time, makes me think that maybe I did make a mistake. Everything has caught up to me now and the person I usually seek comfort in is the one I'm trying to get away from.

"Greta," I hear my name, his voice breathy and filled with exhaustion that was surely caused from his sprint after me. I don't turn around though, because I know if I did I wouldn't be able to keep going. "Greta," he says it again, this time his hand wrapping around the bottom half of my arm, tugging slightly so I'm forced to turn around.