Divergent souls || 2

Thirty one

Goddamn him, I huff out a breath of frustration, not denying, "You know what I see in you right now?" He asks after a moment of utter silence, the question takes me aback and i speak "What?" I ask, he sighs.

"You look like you're on the verge of breaking down." He states so casually it makes my glare thickens even further as I stare at him, he doesn't look bothered in the slightest actually as he looks right back into my eyes.

"I'm not." I lie, maybe I am, but I'm not going to break down with the guy I had a one night stand with, what the fuck? God this is so embarrassing, I avert my gaze away from him when I feel things getting too intense inside of my body.

The phone ring echoing in the air stops my motion though as I see whose name is flashing across the screen, my heart clenches in my chest at the reminder of him, as if forgetting Rowan at the moment is even possible.

"You want me here to make you forget." He's smart, let's just say that, his voice isn't exactly giving away what he's feeling, whether it's anger or annoyance. I really cannot decide.

"Yes." I admit, feeling my spine and cheeks heat up with embarrassment, at the way he just called me out and laid all my tactics in front of him, "That won't happen since I'm not going to fuck you when you're dry, it'll hurt." He explains as if I don't know how that works.

"I'm not." I state, I have no idea, I don't exactly feel any arousal but that doesn't mean that I don't feel any heat in my body, "Are you even sure of that?" He's playing with me, basically to make me say the thing he's striving toward.

"No." I nearly growl, annoyed by the way he's questioning me, a moment of silence stretches between us and awkwardness prickles through the air as I stare at him.

"Well, since I planned to stay here for an hour or two, my training is still in a couple, you can have me as a friend or something." He cringes as he speaks, rolling his eyes, my brows rise in shock.

While 'not all' men were shitty, most of them were, so finding one like him is pure luck, or fate at this point, both ways, I'm thankful.

"A friend." I speak, he nods after a moment, i sigh exaggeratedly as he straightens and lays back on the bed beside me, my mind is full of thoughts again, my heartbeats going back to normal but picking up when a familiar person pops up in my mind.

One I've been trying to push away from me, for years but always failed, "It's about the guy I saw at the party, the one who came here after I left, isn't it?" He connects the dots and i sigh, feeling my throat clamping shut as I nod.

"It has always been about him." I admit, truthfully, I've never discussed my relationship with Rowan to anyone, let alone to someone I barely know, someone who's nearly a stranger, but at this moment, I've been keeping it for too long.

I'll talk to anyone who'll listen.

And even though I know that Vera and Aurelia won't dismiss any venting i through in their direction, I've been talking about him most of my life, it's getting annoying, I can feel it, or maybe I'm just hallucinating it, like everything else.

I start talking about how we grew up together, never left each other's side, how we mended each other's broken hearts, the way seeing the other fulfilled all the emptiness that occurred due to our parents, it was beautiful and pure.

Until it wasn't.

Until it all got messy and ruined, till this day, I have no idea why Rowan pushed me away all of a sudden, he tried to talk but he couldn't say anything, does that mean there isn't anything to be said?

Or that he's just struggling forming it?

Either ways it really doesn't matter, he left, again, and this time I'm not putting any hope that he'll come back for me, hopefully, I learned from my mistake.

Like I should.

But things with Rowan always go wrong, always in the direction it shouldn't be taken.

"Don't you think he went back to finally find out the truth?" He asks after a beat, Asher's face is consumed with thoughts, brows furrowed in concentration as he pulls his hair in a ponytail.

"He already knows it." I insist, he absorbs my words and sighs exaggeratedly, "What if he really doesn't this time?" He wonders, I shrug, "I won't take possibilities, it always goes to the worst situation." I assure.

"I'm not saying that you should be hopeful, but if you're really thinking of it with a logical aspect, you need to consider every possibility, the good and bad ones." He insists, voice hard and sure.

I absorb and consider his words all along as I stare into nothing, my vision blurring, "He won't come back." Those are the last words i speak before my body gives out and the darkness swallows me while.

They're full of pain I've tried to suppress for years, full of anger I built up toward Rowan that I have no idea how to get rid of, they're full of hopelessness, or maybe that's what I think.

Because that night, I remember sleeping and dreaming of him, the image becomes too clear the next day, I dreamt that he came back.

Funny.

But that's what it is, A dream.

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I KNOW THAT I'M LEADING YOU ON BUT WE ARE ALMOST THERE.