Catching Her

1

Wednesday Addams had always doubted her ability to take part in the overrated activity known as 'Dating'. What was so appealing about being vulnerable with another human being? She would never, truly never understand that. 

Until she met Xavier, that was what she told herself.

On repeat every night, like a prayer or even some weird ritual. She would never fall in love, never be like her parents, never turn into her mother, the housewife.

Her dreams of being independent were smashed the moment she laid her heartless eyes upon the schools tortured artist.

His aesthetic, his eyes, his hair, that dimple that matched hers, though she never showed it. His height, his talent, his soft smile, the way he wasn't afraid to tell her what she was doing wrong.

And god, she loved him for that. She thought maybe this was it, maybe she was wrong. Maybe love was her thing, she just needed the right person to experience something so special and entirely wonderful.

And yet she still wondered what life would be like alone. If she'd never met that someone. If Xavier wasn't, isn't, part of her picture. 

She wanted to experience that too. 

But she had to pick. 

She was so used to solitude, being alone and just pure...darkness. Xavier didn't give her that. That was the one thing he couldn't. 

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"I think-" She stared as she played with her boyfriends fingers. "I think I want to leave."

She looked up at him, expecting some sort of blow up, maybe sadness? Anger?

No, she was met with confusion.

"I don't...I'm not sure what you mean by that." He said softly, egging her on. 

"I just...this place just isn't for me. This was my parents school, and my goal is to be anything but them, and going here will ruin that. I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I can assure you, this is not it." 

"Okay...so you want to drop out?" 

"I-I want to run away." She could see the worry in his eyes. "Alone."

"So you're breaking up with me then?" He said, slowly bringing the hand Wednesday was holding back into his own lap. That hurt more then she was willing to admit.

"No, I just...don't want to be here anymore." She shrugged, picking at her own nails.

"But you said alone...?" Xavier said quietly. 

"I know." She spoke gently, as though explaining addition to a kindergartner. "But I'm not breaking up with you. I just want to run away by myself."

"Wednesday, you can't disappear and expect me to consider us still in a relationship."

"Oh." She said, realizing how truly stupid she sounded. 

"But Wednesday?" He spoke softly, placing a gently hand on her cheek, so gentle they were barely touching. "Why would you do this? Do you know how many people this will hurt, love?" 

She sighed.

"I mean, just think of Enid! Eugene! Ajax and Biance! Yoko! The twins! Wednesday, think about me!" She could see the panic settling in. "Baby, we all love you. Everyone would be upset if you left, honey. Please see that and understand. I'm all for following your dreams, but please don't run away."

"Do-" She looked up at him, eyes wide and soft. "Do they all actually care?" 

He yanked at his hair softly, his habit when he was nervous or trying to get a point across. "Wednesday, of course! Yes! We ALL love you so, so much! It would hurt everyone if you were to get up and leave!" 

"Oh. I just assumed...I just thought that maybe, after last year, everyone would think I was the problem, that they would be better off without me."

"Why on earth would they think you were the problem!?"

"Rowan thought so."

"Rowan was going crazy and wasn't in the right state of mind."

"Rowan was right."

"No he wasn't, Wednesday, you did nothing wrong. Last time I checked, you didn't wake Tyler's hyde up, or try to revive some ugly pilgrim."

"He was pretty unattractive, wasn't he?" Wednesday gave a teary laugh, sniffling before wiping her eyes. 

"So, so unattractive." He assured her before kissing her forehead. "It's getting late honey, would you like me to walk you back?"

"Yes please."

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"I'm not actually stupid." Xavier assured her. She chuckled.

"I don't know. These grades are pretty back." She said, ruffling through the stack of C's and D's.

"Okay, hear me out, this grade wasn't fair because I was sick that week and missed the whole lesson." 

"Still got a D, Xav, that's no good."

"Can we just stooooppp?" He whined, slamming a fist onto the table next to his head. "I'm tired of hearing you tell me I did bad."

"Oh." She shook her head slightly, shaking away the words that had just come out. Maybe not directed as hurtful, but they still stung. "Yeah, that's fine." She said stiffly, before beginning to pack their stuff up.

"Shoot Nes, that wasn't aimed to be rude." He said, getting up and wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"I know. Sorry." She gave a dry chuckle and kissed his cheek. 

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Maybe she wasn't cut out for love? She heard Xavier words all day, following her around like a bored ghost, taunting her. 

"'I'm tired of hearing you tell me I did bad.' You hear that, Wednesday? He thinks you're annoying. A know it all. A good-two-shoes. A spoiled little brat. You don't deserve him, he could do so, so much better."

Were those bored ghosts right? Was she annoying? Was she someone that no one wanted to hand out with? Was she that bad? 

"NO NO NO NO NO!" She cried into the empty hallway. 

Maybe she wasn't fit for something like love. Maybe she needed to be alone, live by herself. With no one to hurt, and no one to tell her she hurt them. No bored ghosts to tell her she was a terrible person, that she was doing everything wrong.

Maybe she wasn't meant for friendships, as she would just hurt Enid, right? Maybe she just wasn't cut out for this sort of thing. 

Maybe she needed to run away.