I Still Love You

Chapter 4 - Conrad

Getting on the plane was harder than Conrad had thought it would be. He'd felt like someone had tied a rope across his stomach and they were pulling on it every time he took a step forward. I asked Belly to marry me and she said yes! Jere's declaration had been ringing in his head all day. It was like his brain was telling him to stop resisting and get on the plane before his heart did something stupid. So of course he'd listened.

The flight was almost 7 hours. He'd tried everything to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he saw Belly in her wedding dress, smiling as she was walking towards the altar. Towards Jere. And just like that he'd wake up, startled, like he was waking from a nightmare.

She's not your Belly. She's not yours. Not anymore. Get a grip Conrad. Halfway through the flight, he'd turned his phone on to see multiple missed calls from Laurel, about 20 texts from Steven and a voicemail from Jere. He'd probably realized Conrad had left and was pissed, especially since he hadn't said goodbye. He figured he'd listen to the voicemail later and opened up Steven's latest text.

Call me as soon as you land.

What could have been so important that Steven wanted to talk on the phone? He hated phone calls. Worried, he scrolled through all of Steven's messages going up to the first one.

You asshole. Couldn't you have at least said bye before you left? I had to find out from mom. Seriously.

I get why you left. I mean it was a dick move to just leave like that. But I get it.

Ok so I just told Belly that you left and well lets just say she was shocked. I mean she did ask me to ask you to leave so I feel like she didn't want you here anyway. But still. Just thought you should know.

Hey so I found your note to mom and the necklace. What did you say to my mom on the beach?

Oh and before you ask, yes I gave em both to mom. I figured she should be the one to give it to Belly and I'm pretty sure that's what you wanted too.

I just realized you're probably on a plane right now and most likely won't be getting my texts.

There were a few more texts with Steven just updating him on his day, being mad at him for leaving without talking to him and asking him what happened on the beach with Laurel before he got to the last two texts before his latest one.

Did you know Susannah had written us all letters before she died? Apparently she wrote us letters and asked mom to give them to us before our weddings. Mom just went to give Belly and Jere their letters. It's weird. I mean she probably didn't expect it to happen this soon and she definitely didn't expect Jere to be the one Belly married.

Ok that was shitty of me. Forget what I just said...I tried to delete the text but it wouldn't let me. Anyways, I think Belly found Susannah's letter and your necklace. I can hear her crying.

She was crying. That's all he had registered. She was crying. It wasn't the first time he'd made her cry. In fact it had become guaranteed every time they were together. It made him angry. At her and at him. He was angry that she'd given him the power to hurt her like that, that she'd loved him enough for him to hurt her. But mostly he was angry at himself. He was angry at his mind-blowing talent of being able to make her cry without doing much of anything.

He felt like screaming, at himself, at her and at the world for putting them in this situation. He looked out the window like he was in one of those sappy romance movies. It was pitch black out, the only light coming from the blinking lights on the plane's wings. He wanted to disappear. He wanted to go somewhere where his pain didn't exist.