𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐑𝐢𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐧 | 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱 ۰ ۪۪۫۫ · 🩰

; Hurts

•┈┈┈••✦🩰 ✦••┈┈┈•

Tw!! This chapter could be very triggering for some readers. The triggers consents of :
-self harm
-abuse

"Where the fuck were you, Felix?".

In that very exact moment, it felt like everything just stopped in its tracks.

Felix was still facing the door with his shopping bags clenched in his hands, the sounds of the plastic rubbing together from his cold hands trembling...

but, they were trembling mainly out of fear.

Fear of his mom.

His own mom, huh? He'd never fear anyone this bad in his life. Yet, she was there.

Sometimes he'd question himself... where and when did it all go wrong?

Why was he not good enough? Why did he get scolded at everyday? Why did he have bruises from her?

Why was his sister Rachel so special? What made her so SO special to the point the two got treated so much differently?

Rachel had no bruises on her body, no fear, no crying in the corner of her room almost every single night.

No having the thoughts of wishing she was dead everyday.

But..Felix?? Yeah. He had to go through that shit almost every single fucking day.

His thoughts were beginning to swallow him whole, how much longer could he hold on?

No one really knew the answer to that.

The petrified boy slowly turned his body around to face his enraged mother. He didn't like the look on his mother's face.. Yes, usually she'd have this face of extreme anger and disappointment.

However, tonight, it felt..different? More worse than usual.

Felix felt a lump in his throat forming, his chest feeling heavy while his hands clenching the bags continued to tremble. He quickly swallowed, trying to clear away the lump and dryness.

The pink haired boy's voice came out very low and shaky,  "I-i'm sorry m-mom. I w-was just out with friends, I'm sorry I pr-promis-" "Out with friends??!! Are you fucking serious??" his mother shouted back and raged over closer to him, Felix backing up slowly but only to feel his back bump into the cold front door.

She snatched the bags away from him and a tear rolled down his cheek as he reached his hands out, trying to grab them back. His mother started scavenge hunting through the bags.

Oh my god.. I'm fucked.

She pulled out the pastel green crop top he and his new friend Jeongin purchased together earlier that day. More tears streamed down his cold freckled cheeks as he watched his mother examine the shirt.

Breaking the silence, she then scoffed loudly and slammed the bags on the floor, along with the crop top.

"A fucking crop top, seriously Felix?? No way you want to wear this shit.. No way you even thought about buying this. Is this what all the fucking fags in the world like you do?" Her tone was so strict and scary, the room starting to feel suffocating as Felix's legs began trembling now along with his hands.

He didn't know what to say, the lump reformed and it just felt like there was something trapped inside of his throat, not allowing any words to escape.

The usual silence provoked his mother more, now storming up even more closer towards the poor boy, suddenly grabbing him tightly by his pink hair.

Felix let out a loud whimper, tears continuing to stream down his face as he began weeping and begging for her to let go.

"You even got a fucking haircut too huh? Yet you didn't get rid of this fucking hideous pink color!!" a loud slam was heard as she shoved Felix into the door in front of them, causing felix to fall to the ground.

Landing a harsh kick to his stomach, the boy groaned in pain as he clenched onto his stomach, rolling over to the side.

Planting more and more kicks to his side, yells and sobs were presented at each kick.

His mom then stopped, now kneeling down in front of the curled up boy who was in pain, "I got a call from your teacher today, Felix. She said you didn't take your test and you left school early, hm?".

That fucking teacher... She didn't explain the reason as to why he didn't take the test. She was a bitch and knew what she was doing.

Felix coughed and choked on sobs as he slowly sat his weak body up, with his arms still wrapped around his stomach. He looked up at his mom and weakly smiled, causing her eyes to widen a little.

He was smiling?... But why?

"I-I'm sorry mom...I'm so s-sorry–" he wasn't even able to finish his full sentence as he choked on another sob, his head now hanging low.

"I'm so-sorry..I'll make s-sure to disappear from y-you as soon as p-possible".

Felix felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as his mom spoke these words, "Pfft, couldn't you do that earlier?" she sneered as she stood up, now walking away and mumbling horrible audible things about her only son.

How could she say such a thing..

Unintentionally, Felix grabbed both sides of his pink hair, and began to lightly punch his hand against the right side of his head.

He was sobbing to the point it felt like he was going to throw up along with him shaking uncontrollably.

He felt so useless, so unwanted.

The boy limped to his bedroom with his bags, he heard his sister Rachel laughing and talking about him while she was on the phone with her friends. It was easy to hear her, seeing how her door was cracked open.

Slamming his door shut, he slid his body down against the door, letting out shaky breaths. He frantically began crawling over to his nightstand next to his twin sized bed.

He needed it. It was calling his name.

Opening the drawer, he quickly scavenged through all the books, folded papers, trash..once he finally found what he was looking for he sighed in relief.

Holding up the object to the light of his room, it was a box cutter blade.

Clenching it in his hands he quickly ran into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.

He sat himself in the bathtub, pulling his pants and undergarments down slightly, revealing his thighs that were littered in scars..some new, some old.

Placing the sharp cold blade against his soft baby-like skin, he quickly sliced across his thigh..making sure to not go too deep, but deep enough.

After playing around with all the shapes and images he was able to create from the blade, he placed the blade down, looking down at the bloody mess he created.

It stung...but it felt so good at the same time? It felt like all his problems faded away when he would relapse..

It was his comfort.

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Word count: 1,127 🤍
The fact I was struggling for 10 minutes trying to figure out if it was "draw" or "drawer" 😭😭😭