My Newest Addiction //Akitoya Fanfiction

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Akito felt Toya's warm lips touch his, and suddenly, butterflies filled his stomach. He never felt this before, having kissed many girls in life. This was... Different. Akito felt all of his worries float away as Toya took dominance of the kiss. Toya's touch was gentle, yet reaffirming. As if no cigarette or alcohol could ease his pain the way Toya's lips did. It made Akito feel... Whole. For the first time in his life. This was very confusing. Toya was someone he absolutely despised, why was enjoying this?

Akito felt cold as Toya and his lips parted. His arms still wrapped around Toya's neck, he found himself speechless at what they had just done... Akito wasn't gay, right? It was just a kiss... People tell stories of kissing their guy friends all the time as a joke. It was a long kiss though... But it was just to prove a point. Nothing more... The silence was broken by Toya's soft words. "I guess... You were right. ...For once."  Toya stated nodding his head slightly in contempt.

Akito felt a light blush touch his cheeks, unable to look Toya in the eye. "I'm always right, you just think too highly of yourself to see that." Akito huffed. "No... Ugh, whatever." Toya looked to the side stepping back. Akito replied with silence, unable to retort Toya. "Well... I suppose I wouldn't mind doing that again." Akito finally said, covering his mouth with his hand. Toya slightly furrowed his brow. Akito felt his heart pound against his chest. "To be clear, I still hate your guts..." Toya responded. "Good, because I do too..." Akito said.

"In that case, I guess I wouldn't mind it either." Toya said with a slight smile of victory. Akito sighed in defeat. "Yeah, yeah, go pat yourself on the back or something, you jerk. I'm going back to the table." Akito resigned. Toya frowned, "Whatever... I'm going home." Toya said softly. Akito found Toya's response strange, but didn't care enough to ask. Well, that's what he told himself anyway. He wasn't sure of anything after that kiss, and his heart fluttered just thinking about it happening again.

Akito walked over to the table with drinks on it, but... All of the sudden, they didn't seem so enticing anymore. Like his anxiety had subsided for a while, and he felt... Strange. Unable to put a label on it. For some reason, all of his worries left him. It was like his first time drinking again except... Just for tonight, maybe he didn't have to do anything more. He left the party early, leaving those around him confused, as he walked home. His heart feeling strangely full. He retraced his lips with his fingers, remembering Toya's touch.

It was warm and gentle. Something he wasn't quite used to. He wondered if that's how a girl felt when he kissed them, or if it was something else. He shook away thought. This night, he found himself unable to stop smiling as he snuggled into his pillow. No amount of screaming from his sister's room or self deprecation could get rid of this warm feeling. It was a soft melody that sung him to sleep, though he felt inspired to practice singing tomorrow.

Something he hadn't felt in so long... Hope. That's how it started.

No one's Perspective:

From that night on, Akito and Toya had continued their usual routine, continuing to despise each other. However, there was an added element of difference. The two began meeting up three time a week to make out. The people at school began to notice Akito's behavior shift a bit, and he didn't have sex with anyone during that time. What was really happening was Akito was becoming increasingly less reliant on unhealthy behaviors like smoking and drinking to soothe his anxiety, and his mood was affected positively thanks to this.

Akito's Perspective :

As time went on, Akito found himself feeling that he wanted more. Well, the kisses made him feel good inside, but he wanted something more, not to mention he wished they had more time together... Though, he didn't feel exactly comfortable talking to Toya about it... The two never actually talked to each other outside of argumentative banter. Akito began to realize that he didn't really know anything about Toya. Only going off of assumptions, though it appeared Toya was doing the same thing. Akito wondered if that were just an excuse.

Akito shook away the thought. Maybe he'd ask during their next make-out session. But how would he explain it? He certainly didn't want Toya to think he enjoyed being near him... But, maybe he actually did..? But not because of Toya, but rather the feeling Toya gave him. The feeling of... Freedom. That cigarette he remembered no longer seemed to be stuck in his fingers. When Akito was kissing Toya, he felt like he could finally drop that cigarette and let it burn out somewhere else that wasn't his mouth.

School ended as usual, Akito delt with the usual bullying and stuff as he exited the building. He met up with Toya in an alleyway by school, where they usually met up. This time, Akito gathered the courage to ask for more. He took a deep breath as he walked toward Toya, who had his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. Toya furrowed his brow as Akito kept a slight distance. Akito stared daggers at the ground, swallowing the lump of pride in his throat.

"Uhm... Err..." Akito stammered. "What?" Toya asked coldly. Akito felt annoyed at Toya's tone. "Shit dude, just give me a second to speak." Akito scoffed. Toya shrugged with a slight sarcastic undertone. Akito wasn't sure how to really ask Toya such a question, he cleared his throat. "Listen... I..." Akito lost all his words, unable to explain his desires. It wasn't like Toya was his partner or anything, he didn't even know if Toya cared. What did Toya gain from their encounters anyway?

"You want to quit doing this? Or is it that you want to do this more often?" Toya said bluntly, wanting to cut to the chase. Akito felt stupid as he hid his face in his palm. "Shit man... Damn you all to hell for being so smart." Akito scrambled to find his words, surprised at how perceptive Toya appeared to be. "...So, I'm guessing it's the second choice? I don't see you caring to tell me if it were the first." Toya stated, ignoring Akito's half-compliment. Akito went silent, staring back at his feet, his cheeks a slight pink due to his embarrassment.

"Well?" Toya pried, already knowing the answer. Akito sighed. "Alright fine... You're right. Happy now?" Akito admitted. "Hmph, hard to say." Toya teased. Akito rolled his eyes as he walked toward Toya. "You've caused me so much anxiety. Now you have to help me." Akito said angrily, not really considering his words as he spoke. Toya furrowed his brow at Akito's statement. Akito noticed Toya's slight concern as his touch seemed more... Gentle. Akito realized he let a piece of his motive of enjoyment slip, shutting his eyes tight in embarrassment as the two kissed.