A Moment Too Late (Yaoi boyxboy)

13-Kida

I threw my stuff down on the floor and flopped onto my bed, sighing. It was kind of a long day. First, a test in Chemistry an then an an essay assignment in English. That wasn't the part that exauhsted me though...no. it was when Nowaki's friends joined us on the roof at lunch.

Not once had any of them ever been nice to me, and I half expected them to just come up there and tease me. It great that they didn't, but still...I was afraid they would. I knew Nowaki couldn't just tell his friends to leave, but I didn't want them to be there.

I sighed again, placing my arm over my face. I was a terrible person wasn't I? It was stupid to wish for Nowaki's friends to go away when they hadn't done anything. Maybe I was jealous...I could definitely see that.

I remember sitting there, frustrated that I couldn't relate to any of the things they were talking about. It's just that I found no interest in things like football or the newest movies that were out. I always thought, 'I can watch it when it's on dvd' or something like that.

Maybe I should try watching new movies, and paying more attention to sports on T.V. and stuff...it would mean I'd have more to talk about with Nowaki, right? Would he be happier if I tried talking about that stuff with him? I worried about that stuff once in a while. Sometimes I thought Nowaki was getting bored of me when we'd just sit on the roof top at school in silence.

I didn't want that. If Nowaki got bored of me, or if I did something to make him angry...I'd go back to being alone every day. I shuddered at the thought. Nowaki definitely brightened my life. I couldn't imagine not getting to see his reassuring smiles, or his laugh that just made me melt into a complete puddle.

I sounded like a fool...or a lovestruck teenage girl. Maybe I was a lovestruck teenage girl...or just lovestruck anyway. I laughed at the thought and rolled back over, now facing the ceiling. I stared for a moment, when suddenly, I started thinking about the trip Nowaki and I took to the river. Blush instantly crept over my cheeks.

That kiss...I didn't actually believe it happened sometimes. I thought maybe I was dreaming or that I had fantasized it into a state of realism. That scared me a little. It must have been real, though. I could still sort of feel it...the water around me as he kissed me, his hand holding onto mine. It was so sudden, yet so nice...someday...I hoped he'd do it again. Maybe it'd be tomorrow, or maybe it would be next week. All I knew is that I wanted it to happen again...soon.

Then again...he could always start thinking it was mistake. Not just the kiss, but me as well. Sure, his friends hadn't all deserted him, but they still gave him weird looks now and then. If they eventually decided to ditch him, would he become angry and blame it on me? He said he didn't care if they all left, but how would he know if he'd be alright? He'd never been alone before...I knew how it felt. It was the worst feeling in the world.

I sat in the silence for a moment, just listening to any noises I could hear. It was dead silent in the house.
I rolled over onto my side again and stared at the wall. I had homework...not a lot, but still...I could finish the essay I started in class today. I glanced at my box cutter, which was resting on the side table next to my bed. There's other stuff I can do, I thought as I pushed up the blade. I can do the dishes...or go make something to eat.

Nobody was in the house...it wasn't often that happened.