Remember Me.....

Time to say goodbye

She walked across the grass, her expensive silk covered black heels sinking in, ruining them and making her wobble a little.  She didn't care. She would probably never wear them again.  They were, like many things, her old life.  Searching the lines of sleeping granite blocks, she counted.  Knowing which line, she proceeded to walk along it, reading each stone. Who these people had been?  What had their lives amounted to?  Who missed them?

Then, she saw it.  Large and black, like something out of one her amnesia fuelled nightmares. The headstone was black and shiny with fancy gold lettering - very, very ostentatious.  Nothing like she would have chosen.  She didn't choose it though, did she?  They did.  As she read it, tears pricked her eyes.  The usual; their names - Anna and George Winters, dates, a 'touching' quote , the list of grieving family they left behind.  Just one thing was missing.  

Her.

They had left her off the list of children.  A final slap in the face.  She'd never existed.

After a moment, she smiled.  Actually smiled. She was free, finally totally free to begin again without any remorse.  She laid the flowers on the grass in front of the stone, feeling lighter than she had in a very long time. For a moment, she paused, her fingers tracing the lettering of her mother's name.  A mother that it seemed had supposedly loved her enough to lie to her face for the whole of her life.  Whatever the intention, it had been the rock Eve's love for her, perished on.

Her father?  Well, now she knew he wasn't. He could go to hell.  She stood up, her hand trailing along the cold black granite as she did so.

"Goodbye, Anna." she whispered. Bending down, she closed her eyes and kissed the top of the stone then turned away.  She knew she would never come back.  This wasn't her life anymore.  This was the life of Eve Winters, the dirty family secret.  She would never again be that woman.  As she looked at the impossibly handsome man with the ginger blonde hair and ocean eyes watching her from the shiny black sports car, she knew she had a different end to her story.  No, end wasn't the word. Sequel was more like it.

She'd lived one life, and the universe had given her what they called a 'do-over'.  She wasn't going to waste it.  Being rich, being independent, being a 'high flyer' had in the end, gotten her nowhere.  Being someone's love, now THAT was far more rewarding, in every way.  As she straightened, she rubbed her back and smiled.  Very rewarding.

Arriving back at the car, Tom was leaning against it, waiting arms outstretched.  He gathered her to him and hugged her gently.  "You ok, darling?" he asked softly, kissing her.  She nodded and hugged him back, resting her head on his chest, savouring his warmth and closeness.

"Yes, I am now.  You might find it hard to believe, but I think they understand.  I'm never coming back Tom. This was it. The final goodbye."

"Really?  After all you've been through?" he asked, looking down at her with a frown. "Don't you want to find...?" he paused unsure what to call her mother. "Reclaim what's yours? And I'm sure she'll be waiting for you.  You've been missing out on things for such a long time. Surely there will still be lots to say? To sort out? When all this has... subsided?" 

"No, Tom.  Some things are just beyond repair, no matter how much we might want to fix them. And no, I will NEVER ask them. When I needed them most, they pretended I didn't exist. Now, I have nothing I need from any of them. I have you, darling, and I have..." she patted her stomach, distended now beyond any hope of concealment.  "When the time comes, they can find out along with everyone else.  They are nothing to me. Just as I am nothing to them, it seems."

He hugged her, looking over her head towards the headstone where the small bunch of flowers lay. His eyes were filled with tears of sorrow for what she had lost - and no small amount of pride for who she had become.  She was stronger than he could have ever imagined.  He kissed the top of her head and pulled back, "Come on love, time to go home." 

She smiled and nodded, "Thank you, Tom, thank you for being my knight in shining armour, my voice of reason, and my friend.  My love, of course, but above all?  My friend. Even when you thought I may not want you, may not have a life that could include you, you stuck by me.  For that alone, I could love you forever,  but we're not alone, are we?  We have each other, and we have Little Jack." she giggled as he screwed up his face.

"Gracie!  I told you, Princess, it's Gracie!" he booped the end of her nose with his finger, "and as your Prince, I command you to provide me with a Gracie!"  they laughed for a moment, then he fell serious.  "Darling, you do know that I honestly don't care what we have as long as they - and you - come through it healthy.  Family, that's what's important. 

I've come to realise with all you have gone through that I have been spoiled, in a good way, all my life.  Even though Mum and Dad split years ago, they remain a constant in my - now our - life.  My sisters, no matter how much they abuse and tease me, I know they love me and have my back - sorry - our backs." he looked at her, the tears now trickling down his cheeks. "I love you, Eve, more than I can ever tell you.  I will spend every day of the rest of our lives, " he winked, and she smiled, "proving it to you."

"I know, darling, and I will always love you too." was all she said.  It was all she could say. Words failed her as she too dissolved into tears.  In the autumn sunshine, they stood, hugging and crying with love and relief, the door to the past finally closing.

Or so they thought.  It turned out it wasn't quite shut.