Forbidden Pleasure

Chapter 7

--

"Do I look like your driver?" malamig na usal ng lalaking nakaupo sa driver's seat.

Humugot ako ng isang malalim na hininga bago ako lumabas ng sasakyan nang walang imik. I opened the door beside the passenger's seat and stepped inside the car silently. Tikom na tikom ang bibig ko habang nagsusuot ng seatbelt. Nahihilo pa rin ako dulot ng mga alak na ininom ko kanina. I'm not drunk, just tipsy.

"Are you avoiding me?" tanong niya habang inaantay na uminit ang makina ng sasakyan.

I looked at him and forced a smile. "Of course, not. Why would I?"

I heard him took a deep breath. "Nothing."

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita pa at mas piniling tumingin sa labas ng bintana. It's already one in the morning, and here we are, making our way back to their house.

Pipikit na sana ang mga mata ko nang mag-ring ang phone ko sa backseat. I blinked my eyes before reaching for my phone to see who was calling. My mood suddenly lifted as I saw the caller.

"Hey, James," sambit ko.

"Your son is bugging me. Gusto ka raw niya makausap," saad ni James. I heard some noise before my son spoke, "Mama."

Tumingin ako kay Kaius na nasa aking tabi. I moved myself farther from him, na halos dumikit na ako sa gilid ng sasakyan. I rested my head on the window before I answered. "Baby," malambing kong usal. "Naze anata wa mayonaka ni chitajeimī o tōchō shite iru nodesu ka?" [translation: Why are you bugging tita Jamie in the middle of the night?]

"Mama, nanika waruikoto o yumemite ita." Nang marinig ko itong suminghot, I knew my son was crying. [translation: I dreamt of something bad, mama.]

Lumukob sa buong sistema ko ang kaba na nakalimutan ko nang nasa tabi ko ang ama ng anak ko. "Akachan, sore wa don'na yumedesu ka? Nande naite iru no?" [translation: What kind of dream is that, baby? Why are you crying?]

Suminghot itong muli. "Watashi no papa ga anata o kizutsuke, anata ga naite iru no o yumemite imashita. Watashi wa otōsan, okāsan ga kiraidesu." [translation: I was dreaming that my daddy was hurting you and you were crying. I hate dad, mom.]

Pain suddenly assaulted my chest. Oh my goodness! "Baby," panimula ko nang magsimulang manubig ang mga mata ko. "Sore wa tada no yumedesu īdesu ka papa wa mama o kizutsukemasen." [translation: It's just a dream, okay? Daddy won't hurt mommy.]

Nang marinig kong humikbi ito ay nataranta ako. "Damari nasai. Yokujitsu, mama ga anata o tazunete kimasu."

"I love you, baby," I whispered with my outmost sincerity. I'm in pain knowing my son is crying because of a fucking dream! A dream that always happens. It happens every fucking day.

"I love you, too, mom," rinig kong usal niya. Saglit pa ay si James na ang nagsalita. "Don't worry, ako na bahalang magpatahan sa kanya. Sleep now."

"Thank you, James," mahinang sambit ko bago naputol ang linya.

Doon ko lang napantantong mariin akong tinitignan ni Kaius sa rearview mirror. Napalingon ako rito at namataan ang matatalim at malalamig niyang tingin.

"So you have a boyfriend?" sambit niya.

Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi. Sinadya ko talagang magsalita ng Japanese para hindi nito maintindihan ang usapan naming mag-ina. "No, it was my friend."

"Friend." I saw how his jaw clenched, just as I felt the car increase its speed. "Calling a friend baby? Never heard of that one."

Sinamaan ko ito ng tingin. "Excuse me? I call my friends love, hon, baby, and any other endearment you can think of. And besides, it's none of your business."