Beyond What's Known

Chapter 13

Finally, Alana lifted her head, looking up at Sam. She was relieved to see only concern, not anger or discontent, on Sam's face, even though she knew Sam would never act like that anyway.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make him feel like that," Alana insisted. "I swear I would have healed him if he asked."

"I don't doubt that," Sam assured. "You don't need to apologize, Alana. You're always so nice to everyone, but you don't need to be. It's okay if you don't like a person-"

"It's not that I don't like him, it's just-" Alana's voice caught in her throat. "It's just..."

Telling the gang that they may need to be ready to publicly acknowledge the existence of other sets of caverns was one thing, but actually starting to do that was another, even when it was just Sam, easily the civilian that Alana trusted the most.

"He- he k-"

It felt like her brain was short-circuiting. She couldn't say it. Couldn't say what he'd done, when he was the Dark Slinger.

"He. Did. Some bad things. When he was possessed," Alana finally managed. "I know that was pretty much a different person. But he's still him, and that'll take some getting used to."

Sam nodded. Alana could tell that she knew there was more to unpack there than just "bad things," though.

"I get that. But I'm worried about how you were reacting to him being with you and Trixie. It sounded like you were barely there, Alana."

"I don't know what you want me to say," Alana admitted, slumping back into the cushions of the futon. "I was barely there. Some of the townspeople were being jerks and then it was just me and Trixie and him, and it freaked me out. But I'm obviously not like that now."

"I know," Sam said, in that patient, understanding voice that Alana both loved and hated. "But that doesn't change the fact that it happened. It usually takes something pretty serious for a person to shut down like that. I just want you to know that if he, maybe, did something when he wasn't possessed, you can come to me or the gang. You don't need to feel obligated to share your space with him just because he's someone in need. It doesn't always have to be you five."

"He didn't do anything while he wasn't possessed," Alana insisted immediately. She didn't want Junjie getting a bad reputation less than a day into living in this realm because she was caught up on something from a decade ago. "I mean, I haven't been around him a lot, but he's been fine. I promise."

With a sigh, Sam rested her head back against the wall of the room. She stared up at the ceiling as if it would be able to reveal what she wanted.

"I think there's more to it than that," Sam finally admitted. "But I don't know what else to say."

Alana laughed bitterly, staring down at her hands.

"I don't either, if that helps," she said. "You've never done anything that's made me think I can't trust you. It's not a trust thing. It's... it's just me. I'm scared. There's a lot of things that have changed in the last couple days. It's just gonna get worse, I think. I don't know how to go about it. But it's fine. I'll figure it out."

"Dissociating in the middle of town isn't fine, Alana," Sam argued. "You-"

Alana suddenly frowned and got to her feet, holding up a hand to silence Sam. The medical student fell silent, but raised an eyebrow and watched Alana in confusion.

"Did you hear that?" Alana said quietly, looking down at the floor.

"Very funny, nice try-" Sam began, but Alana waved her hand again, cutting her off.