The City Of Death

Chapter Eight- Macy

"Who are they?" I wonder. I've heard Gemma's name from the group of Renegades in the north, but I don't know much about her. Only that she supposedly has enhanced senses. But I don't know what her job is or anything else about her. And I haven't heard the name Savannah at all. Are they close to Atlas? Will I have to find a way to get through them to get to him? There are so many unknowns in this mission, and I'm ready to start working through them.

"Gemma is our Survivalist. She'll get you all the supplies you need out here and teach you to survive without the comforts of the City. She's also quite the seamstress. She can mend any of your clothes and make you new ones if you desire. And Savannah is our Doctor." My heart twinges at that word. I thought that my mission would ease the pain of my loss. But it hasn't. Having a new job doesn't reduce the pain of losing the old one. And the truth is, I miss being a Doctor. I miss healing others and taking away their pain. I miss saving lives. And now I'll have to see someone else doing the job I miss so much.

I remind myself it will only be for a little while. I'll only have to suffer that pain until I complete my mission and get my life back. Once my mission is finished, I can go back to saving lives. I can go back to healing. And this time, I'll be smarter. I'll learn from my previous mistakes and know how to save and who should be considered a lost cause. It pains me to think of picking and choosing who gets to live, but if that's what I have to do to continue being a Doctor, then that's what I'll do.

As we restart our walk back to camp, I stick close to Taryn. She's the only one whose name I know, and so far, she's been the kindest to me. Even if it is just the act I think it is, her kindness comforts me. But that's only part of it. The other part, the one I'm trying to ignore, is that she reminds me of Cassie. Even if Taryn's blonde hair is lighter than hers and much straighter than Cassie's curls and their eyes are nowhere near the same color. I still see quite a bit of Cassie in Taryn. Part of me wants to avoid her for that, but the stronger part of me wants to stick close.

"So what made you decide to leave the City?" Taryn asks. The question catches me off guard, and I stutter, trying to think of an answer. "If you don't want to tell me, that's okay. I was just curious."

"No, no, I just didn't expect that question."

"Wait, let me guess. You just became an Invalid and you thought that life out here had to be better than life on Salvia Street," Taryn guesses, and I raise an eyebrow. "I'm way off, aren't I?"

"What makes you think I'm an Invalid?"

"You don't wear an armband," she answers with a shrug.

"Neither do you."

"Fair point. But there's a difference between you and me."

"What's that?" I wonder. The truth is, she's not that far off from the truth. I stopped wearing my armband when I lost my job. Invalids don't wear armbands. That's one way we identify them, so her guess makes sense. I don't like the assumption, but I can understand. But I haven't seen any armbands on any of the Renegades. Were they all Invalids before they came out here? How do they know who has what job? Things must be as chaotic out here as the Cardinals warn they are.

"You just got here. I've been out here for a while. See, Citizens wear their armbands every day. It's habit. Even if one knows they're going to leave the City, they still put the armband on simply out of habit. So if you're not wearing yours, that leaves two options. Either you were an Invalid, or you got rid of it before you got here," Taryn explains. I want to ask her how long she's been a Renegade and why no one out here has an armband. But before I can, a group of tents appear in the distance, and Taryn breathes a sigh of relief.

"Taryn, you told them we were coming, right?" another Renegade asks.

"Well, I didn't, but someone did. I think it was Annalise," Taryn responds. I add the name Annalise to my growing list of Renegades I don't know. I wonder what her role is out here. The two Renegades argue for a bit, but I don't pay attention to them. I only pay attention to the group of tents that are growing closer. They're just like the tents the group of four had. I wonder if they have tents reserved for new recruits, just like the four did.