Bound- Red Threads of Fate Jaya AU

Invisible string

"I guess so." She giggled at his puzzled expression–he still seemed to be trying to work out the expression in his head. "So, what did you think of the emperors' proposal today?"

He shrugged. "It's good that they're recognizing the urgency of the situation. Otherwise who knows what Kai would've done." He laughed nervously. "But seriously, it's important. I mean, I definitely had it pretty easy as a kid, compared to some people. My parents let me stay in school for longer instead of working, since they made enough money from their business most years. But still, there were years of famine and stuff, and we didn't always have it great. The thing is, the Queen didn't do anything about it–she never does. I guess she doesn't care so much about keeping the population up as the guy who made . . . you know."

"My curse."

"Yeah . . ." He dragged the word out. "Only, I don't really think of it that way. I mean, I know it's caused you a lot of trouble, but it also brought me to you. Think about it–you grew up in Ignacia, and you might've stayed there if it weren't for you becoming the thread-mage. We might not even have met yet if that had happened."

"Yet?" Suddenly, a horrifying scenario flashed through her brain. What if she had never met Jay? What if they had lived in their separate towns their whole lives, and never known they were soulmates? And wasn't that just what would happen to hundreds, maybe thousands of people if she stopped being the thread-mage?

"Yeah," Jay was saying. "I mean, eventually we would've grown up. We still would've been living relatively close, and we're meant to be. We would've met eventually."

Nya didn't know how he could be so optimistic about the whole imaginary scenario. "But what if we never did?"

He shrugged. "If we really cared enough, we would've. If not, well then, I guess you wouldn't be missing that much."

His tone was joking, but it wasn't funny to her. Because she would be missing a lot if she'd never met him. The scary thing was, she wouldn't know what she was missing.

"Hey, I'm sorry I mentioned it." He placed his warm hand on top of hers, twining their fingers together. "It's okay, really. You can't be all pessimistic and dwell on what could've happened. We have each other now, and we're making a difference. That's what's important."

But it wasn't just them–not to her. Whatever decision she made, she would be making a bigger difference than he ever could.

"But . . ." She tried to figure out how to explain it to him. "If I stop reading people's threads, no one will ever know their soulmates for sure. A lot of people might never find them at all. That would be horrible–I'd never be able to live with myself."

"Well, you'd only be delaying that happening by a little bit." Jay said. "If we manage to kill the Queen, you'll be the last thread-mage born during her family's reign–the last one to ever have the curse. So either way, sooner or later there will be no thread-mage anyway."

"Unless I train another one. Emperor Wu said I could regain the power to read threads much more easily than someone learning for the first time. And he said he'd appreciate my helping him learn. That must mean he thinks that with my teaching, someone could learn to do it faster than if they just tried to learn on their own." She hated to keep shooting down his arguments, since he was only trying to make her feel better, but everything she said was true.

Jay sighed, and she thought he'd given up, until he squeezed her hand. "But is that what you want to do? Spend your whole life reading threads and training someone to take your place after you die?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know."

He looked her right in the eyes, making her hold his gaze in the dim light. "Then tell me again, exactly. What is it you want? If you could have an ideal world, and not worry about anyone else, what would you want to do with your life?"