the friend with a fanny pack.

heartbreak

after sitting on your knees for what felt like eternity with junior still holding dave and dave dressed like a fairy princess from some disney film looking down at you....you couldn't stop to think about why. why the fuck does this grown ass man have a fanny pack with fanta mentos in it.
"...y/n what the actual fuck are you doing touching my fanny."
dave said, sounding serious as ever but couldn't even word anything right, like you can write amazing songs but you can't fucking word a simple sentence right? anyway, nick finally came over after destroying your kitchen cause why do you even have a house if dave hasn't stolen it,if junior hasn't broken the walls with nick's bass drum and if nick hasn't shot up your kitchen?
"WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY FANNY Y/N..?"
dave started to raise his voice slightly (a lot cause y/n sucks) and you started to get up to go off to your room so you could try and get away from this shit hole and this random ass ginger who randomly got a fanny pack for some reason with his weird little band mates.

after like 30 minutes, dave finally got a sense and stopped hugging junior and ripped off his xs princess dress and his lacy pink bra to go not even apologise to y/n but walked out.
he came back cause he wanted watermelons so he put his (your) bra back on and shove 2 yummy,juicy,fat watermelons in there and walked up the stairs.

"..."

you shared some weird eye contact.

"what are you doing with those..?" you couldn't process what the actual fuck was going on.

"am i a pretty woman to you.., y/n?" he just stood there and posed a little...
you couldn't lie either, his long beautiful ginger curls and those fat fucking watermelons really did make him seem like a beautiful woman.

"yes dave. you are.."

never mind, junior wanked off in the bathroom for like i don't know how long then threw nicks bass drum at you then threw nick at you then marty appeared cause just like what those pinterest comments say...get it marty.. so junior threw marty at you too then junior claimed dave as his pretty woman and they lived happily ever after.