Our College Takeaway

Episode 6 - Still Spells the Pain

“The fucking hell?! Him?! He is there?! Oh, Dace! You’re all fucked up!” He cursed like there is no tomorrow. I laughed hard hearing him exclaim like that.

“You’re even surprised than I am, I reacted way simplier than that. But yeah, I understand you. It is truly shocking to see him here, at the same program, at the same university, and at the same block as I am. Girl, he even sits next to me!” I, too followed the exclamation.

“Tell me you’re fucking joking because I’m going to faint here! Tell me!” I laughed very... very... hard when he said that.

“Oh, Pio, you’re always this way that it makes me super-duper intrigued on what mental illness must you have. Stop reacting like that, it’s ascending me.” I rolled my eyes as I cackle.

I heard him laughing, I just shook my head and I looked at the stars. I finished my coffee so I went inside carrying my phone and the cup now on the saucer. I put it in the sink as I hear Pio speaking about his thoughts of Arjim being here in San Clemente.

“Like... Dace! Aren’t you being too calm on this? Your senior high crush at the university, program, and the block you’re in college? That was the most unpredictable twist destiny could give you!” He told me once again.

“I’m telling you right now, I let him go. I do have the same feelings for him but I accepted that it’s all I can reach. I could never be loved back by Arjim, my feelings could not be reciprocated.” I lied on my bed simply talking to Pio.

“That’s the case all along, is it? Arjim already has a girlfriend, and I do know that you confessed just for closure. You’re going through a lot there, can you take seeing him everyday in the same classroom?” Pio then became serious.

“I could take the burden of seeing Arjim everyday, Pio. What I could not take though is him starting a conversation between us, in which he doesn’t really do when we were in senior high! He’s making a motive, Pio, what should I do?” I leaned on my side.

I put my phone on the mattress just near me so that I could still hear him. He took seconds to reply, and it then took minutes. I frowned so I looked at my phone only to find the call already ended. My jaw dropped after that, I growled in total rage.

How fucking rude! We’re in a middle of a call and he suddenly hung up? The fucking hell?!

I immediately chatted him, he apologized and sent a voice message that he was already out of data. I again heaved a sigh and I rolled my eyes. I didn’t reply to his message and I just though of replying minutes after saying that it was alright.

I just went to sleep, and I did the same routine I’m doing for a while. But this time, I was able to pack my lunch and to make my own breakfast because I woke up early than I expected.

I turned my leftover rice from last night into a delicious Lauriat with veggies, eggs, and sausages. I then packed my lunch in shich I cooked some scrambled eggs with canned meatloaf. I can sense that it’s a productive day ahead so I lifted up my spirit by my daily booze of coffee.

After I got myself ready, I them took the train to San Clemente University. I then hopped off the train and as I was about to enter the entrance of the university, I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

“Dace! Good morning!” it said. I turned my gaze only to find Arjim running towards me with that lifted personality of his.

I smiled to greet him, a pretentious one that I make for the people I’m not bound of talking to. I nodded and I did not lay a second to reply to his greeting. I walked passed him to the CoEd Building, completely ignoring him throughout my morning classes.

“Hey, Dace... why do you keep ignoring me?” he asked persistently as our professor in Readings in the Philippine History discusses in front.

I ignored him, but he kept on bugging me that it made me so irritated. Even so, I continued to ignore him, he just pouted knowing he keeps on this damn act everyday that I wanted to shave every hair on his body.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Dace... talk to me even for once.” Arjim made a face like those cute dogs depicted in TV shows. I’m not saying that he’s cute, he just acts like a child in which I found it oddly weird.

Recess came and Karma wasn’t able to come with me today so I was alone buying a snack in the cafeteria. I bought their daily serving of Mami and I sat on a vacant table alone without someone to talk to.

I ate my Mami, but in the middle of eating it, I encountered Arjim again. My eyes widened as he sat on the other side of the table I was sitting on. On my shock, I thought of leaving immediately. I prepared to stand up but Arjim caught off my hand and he held it tightly.

For the first time, I felt his touch that made my eyes widen. I couldn’t move, his warm touch within my palm gives me an otherworldly feeling. It seems like the world slowed down and it soon stopped from spinning. I sat on the chair of the table and Arjim soon let go of my hand.

I shriveled, with the feeling that I had earlier, I could’ve been dead. I soon felt this warm atmosphere between him and me. My face feels hot, gleaming with the thought that I might be blushing, I covered it so Arjim couldn’t see me on such an embarrassed look.

“I knew about the past, Dace. Even so, I wanted to be your friend and start over, yeah... I did not accept your confession but that diesn’t mean that I couldn’t be friends with you, right?” he grinned.

“Stop it, Arjim. It seems like you’re only playing with my feelings. The past did a permanent scar in me, Arjim. Don’t you know how painful it is to be rejected?” I quickly replied, I wanted him to get out of my life for good.

“I understand that feeling—” but upon his words, I interfered.

“No, you don’t. I’m healing myself peacefully and you’re here trying to be friends with me. Why? Why are you doing this? I’ve had enough already.” I uttered with a sense of agony inside me.

“Why are you like this? I only wanted some closure for my feelings back then, I never wanted something else. It still spells the pain, Arjim. The pain I’ve felt a year ago was still here.” I wanted to tear up but I couldn’t bring myself to cry.

“Just like you, I wanted to get over the past. I wanted us to be friends and forget about the pain that I somewhat caused you, I’m so sorry... I’m just so desperate to be by your side.” Arjim was the one who first stood up the chair.

“I’m not going to bother you anymore, if you don’t want to be my friend then I respect your decision. Even so, I wanted us to be friends to ease up the pain from last year.” He lost his lively aura and brought his food with his as he turned his back on me.

I just heaved a sigh and I continued to eat my food, classes then resumed after a while but Arjim wasn’t sitting to me anymore. It gave me a piece of peace, he really distanced himself. I’m glad that he respects the boundaries that should separate us.

At last, I could have a normal day without him bugging and whacking around me. Just a day with Karma and his thoughts about books, just a day full of lectures and... boredom.

I did not realize that it was boring without him annoying me.