Our College Takeaway

Episode 12 - The Moment I Knew

“Dace! It’s been a month! How are you?!” Pio greeted me with a hug, I giggled and I hugged him back. I smiled upon feeling the same nostalgia I’ve felt when I’m still in senior high with Pio.

I cut myself off the hug, Pio was so excited that he’s smiling all throughout. We’re currently at a park at the back of the municipal gymnasium, I messaged him that I’m already here after my encounter with Arjim last night. I’m quite on guilt that I didn’t think of him first when I got home, he’s been waiting for my return for a month.

We’re both sitting on a bench under a giant acacia tree, Pio is currently wearing the SEAC uniform. It’s beautiful, a plain white polo partnered with maroon pants and rubber shoes. It’s Saturday today, and yes, they have classes. I suspect that Pio came from his National Service Training Program. We’ve had ours yesterday but it’s just for further orientation before we actually do the actual thing.

“I have so many stories to tell, Dace! College days are surely hectic, even so, it was fun.” Pio gave me a mile, I nodded at him and I agreed. I replied knowing happily that this conversation might take longer ’cause it’s been a fucking month!

“I also have so many, as in so many topics to catch up on—including the main teas... you-know-who!” I responded in excitement. Pio’s eyes widened as he gets my point, he smirked and he laughed out loud.

“You bet! I’m literally going insane—like fucking insane when you’re mentioning him! Like... he’s there, how did you feel when you saw him there? Weren’t you surprised or what?” He mentioned Arjim, this conversation is revolving literally about him. Even so, I need to tell Pio anyway.

“When I saw him there, I was surprised, yes. I’m surprised to the point that I was questioning my existence. I have so many questions that day and surely, one thing was on my mind—it wasn’t a coincidence.” I started to become serious, I take a deep breath as I see Pio being invested on the topic.

“Either a coincidence or not, he was indeed there. I need to live with him in my life once again, despite the wounds my confession caused me back then. I wasn’t ready for a moment like that, I wasn’t ready to see him there and just be casual to him or what.” I give Pio an upset look, I smile shortly after.

“Then... why are you so happy when you’re talking to me on the phone? For what I know, you’ve got this excitement within you. Is it all just a fraud or it’s the other way around?” Pio scratched his head, I took long to reply as I take a deep breath once again. I somewhat don’t know how to explain it to him.

“Listen, I already knew that Arjim and Jenelle split up. It was the main topic of my girl friends back at our old school. I wouldn’t be surprised if your feelings for Arjim emerges from you once again, and I would never deprive you of expressing it.” Pio nodded at me. I looked at him further and I took a sigh.

“It’s neither, it’s not a fraud or a change of thought. It was like I was ready to let him back into my life but suddenly, I’m thinking about the past—locking my door once again. I don’t know, I don’t know how to explain that feeling.” Pio holds to his chest. He smiles then he nods.

“I think I understand, you’re confused. I know it because I’ve been there, surely it’s hard but there are these phases through the healing process. You know, it’s hard to move on from something that had hurt you. I do understand because I’ve been there... lots and lots of times.” Pio patted my shoulder, still smiling while comforting me.

“You’re denying your feelings towards someone, that’s not a good thing to do. The more you deny your feelings, the more you’ll feel uneasy and troubled. I’ve sensed that you’ve been going there, yet I know that it’s a part of you to deny.” He uttered, I just nodded and I set my gaze to sky.