When Worlds Combine - A WWC Sequel

55; Notes, unexpected visits, and bad news

"Ha, thanks."

Silence.

"I, um ... I found something." I pull out the piece of paper from my pocket. "I think it belongs to you."

"Oh yeah, what is it?" Zayn looks quizzically at the paper in my hands.

I start to shake with nerves. Do I say that I read it? What if I wasn't meant to? God, Violet. Obviously you weren't meant to. "I-I don't know," I lie quickly, handing it to him. "It fell out of your shirt pocket."

He opens it up and I watch as his forehead creases as he reads. He gulps and looks back up at me. "Did you read it?"

"N-No," I stammer.

He knows I'm lying. He may be somewhat different, but I'm sure not. He's no stranger at all. He knows everything about me, including being able to tell when I'm lying.

He sighs deeply, putting the paper aside. "I'm leaving town."

I don't think I've heard him correctly at first. My eyes widen, my lips parting. "Leaving town? For how long?"

He shrugs, running his hands through his patchy hair. "For good, Violet."

I can't believe it. I feel as though I'm being chained to the floor and the chain is right around my neck. Was he serious? He couldn't possibly be serious. "W-What? I don't understand. Why?"

"Why?" He looks up at me, amusement in his eyes. "Don't play that card, Vi."

"You can't just leave, Zayn!" I cry, my voice suddenly very strained.

"Why not?" He cries back. "What the hell is stopping me?"

"You have a life here," I argue. "You have a job, your studies, you have-"

"Nothing, Violet. I have nothing."

"Zayn, please-"

He stands up, stretching himself out. "No, you don't get it! You don't understand. I stopped having a life the day I lost you. What I have now is not worth staying for."

"You know, I hate how you keep doing that," I seethe, trying to level myself with him. "You keep blaming me for your own mistakes. When are you going to take the responsibility?"

"You don't think I take the responsibility?"

"No, Zayn. You need to know that you walked out on us, and that's nobody else's fault but yours."

He shakes his head, again tugging at his hair. I wonder how this became to be such a habit. "You don't think I think about that every damn day?"

"Leaving won't solve anything," I state. "You can't just run from your problems."

"But I can run from you!" He yells.

I fall silent, looking at him carefully.

"I can't ... I can't do this anymore," he stammers, voice weak. "I can't keep being here, being around you and not with you. I know it was my fault, and I'm dealing with it. But I just can't be here anymore. Because everything is such a reminder of how happy we used to be and it's killing me. Violet, it's damn well killing me. I ... I have to get out of here before I do something seriously bad."

I just blink at him, not really sure what to say. I don't want him to leave, because I don't want him to be gone from my life forever. I don't want him to disappear and never come back. Because I'm not ready for that. I am not fucking ready to lose him forever. I want to cry. I want to scream and punch him and hug him and hold him and just cry, cry, cry. He can't leave me.

"Where are you gonna go?" I squeak, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill.

"I don't know," he replies. "I ... I don't know. Back home probably."

"This is your home."

"It's not!" He cries. "Stop talking as if there's something to live for, when there's not!"

"I don't want you to leave."

He falters at that, his eyes casting downwards. I hear him sigh, watch as his hands shake. "I'm sorry," is all he says.

I don't know what to do with that, with those two pathetic words. So I leave. I slam the door behind me and I walk away. I refuse to cry, because I refuse to shed a tear over him ever again. If he wants to leave, then fine. I'll just have to be okay with the permanent absence of him.

I'm so angry. I'm so goddamn mad that I could break something. And I do. As soon as I get back to my dorm I throw a book at the wall, followed by a few more, and then I slide against the back of the door and I fall to a heap at the floor. I struggle to breathe as I cry. It feels so strange to cry so heavily, but I do. I don't know why this gets me so upset, because Zayn left me a while ago. I just never thought he would actually leave.

I think about calling Liam, but I decide against it because I don't know how he could help. I felt very empty and very alone, and that made me feel rather upset. Because I did not have the strength within me to look after myself anymore. He was leaving? For good?

And I guess that's the funny thing about heartbreak; you never really know when it's over. Because it never fucking is.

:((( violet