Supermarket Horror - buy correctly or die directly

╚══ ≪ °weekend shopping.° ≫ ══╝

"My heart is crying."

• grapes
• bananas
• apples
• tomatoes
• cucumbers
• lettuce heads
• bread
• boxes of medium water

It isn't much.

It isn't much at all.

Are they serious? I thought I'm supposed to buy food for the weekend. How are they going to survive on this?

Well, I shouldn't question their orders. After all, they are my family.

After leaving my home and driving to the nearest supermarket, the horror begins.

Supermarket horror, as I like to call it. I see all those people. They don't know about my situation, and I don't know about theirs, but I know that they won't ever know the truth about me.

I'm not like you.

I fight a battle I can never win and still make it out alive every time I come here.

My life hasn't been the same since I'm part of the family. But that's just how it is. It's my destiny and I'm happy about it.

I'm happy. I'm fine. I don't want anything else.

Those are my true feelings. Why should it be different? I never knew anything else. No, I'm not manipulated. My family is my life.

At first, the fruits. They are near the entrance. I find the grapes quickly, but then I realised that I haven't received any information regarding the type of grapes.

This can be my end.

Or not. If I can convince them to let me prove my worth in another way, I will live. I don't care what they want me to do.

I love them. I will do anything for them.

Every other person would phone their family now and ask for the correct type. But my family doesn't have phones. They say, where they come from, phones are considered wrong and must never be touched or approached.

Where are they from? I don't know. The only important thing is that we're together.

Questions lead to suffering.

I close my eyes, even though I'm fully aware of how silly that looks. I try to remember the last time I had to buy grapes.

It turns out that this is the first time. There is no way for me to know the correct type they want.

Either I'm lucky and get the right ones, or I have to convince them to give me a substitute assignment.

Everything. Everything is fine with me.

Eventually, I go for the crimson grapes. They look good and I hope my family will approve my choice.

Now the bananas. I have only one sort of banana to choose from. But how many? It might sound crazy, but I have no idea how many members my family has. It doesn't matter to me, though.

I know that I often have to buy bananas. So why can't I remember how many I need?

In the end, I take five. People are staring at me. They should mind their own businesses. Have they never heard of large families?

It's like a miracle that they actually gave me a list this time. Normally, they just tell me to go to the supermarket and I have to figure out on my own what to buy. Now, however, I roughly know what to buy, but not how much and what kind.

But I'm not mad about this. I shall not hold a grudge against my family. They have their reasons.

Eventually, I have bought everything excluding the water which I will get in another shop.

Sighing, I watch the cashier scanning the products. I sincerely hope that I have made good choices.

As soon as I have paid, I leave the supermarket, relieved that I am finally away from all those people.

It is hot. There is no cloud in the sky and no shady spots. The burning heat reminds me of the pain of my family's punishments.

The sunshine is torture, but the punishment of my family feels right. It isn't exactly nice, but that's what I deserve. Isn't that normal?

I quickly reach the beverage market. Only water needs to be bought now and then I'm finally done. I long for rest, but even when I arrive home, I have to keep working. Always on, always be there, day and night. I do not sleep. Never. For others it may be important, but I feel no urge to sleep. I'm not supposed to, I'm supposed to be there for my family.

I belong to them and they belong to me.

Helplessly, I stand in front of the water bottles. Sparkling? Still water? Who could have known that buying water is so difficult? I play with the idea to buy a bit of everything.

Yes, this is what I will do. They won't rip my head off if I bring multiple water bottles.

Right?

Now off to the checkout and back home.

But do I want to go home?

No. Stop. It is my home. Doubts are not allowed.

I hold the bottles tighter to my body and joined the long queue. Only very slowly does it get smaller. The people in front of me are moving their mouths. They're talking, but the words - the sounds they're making are distant. They are there, but not important to me.

As soon as I have paid, I leave the beverage market as fast as possible. It's hot. I go to my car and open the doors for a while before I enter and drive home.

My heart is crying.

I feel like something is missing.