Lacey

05

I can't bear the pain any longer, and that's when I completely lose control. Frustration and anger rise like a storm inside me. I clench my fists so tightly that my knuckles turn white, and I unleash my pent-up emotions on the steering wheel. I don't even feel the pain of my cuts as I abuse it. Each strike is a release, an outlet for the overwhelming grief and despair that has been building up.

I hit it until I can't possible hit it anymore. Which isn't very long because my hands start to bleed again.

The physicality of my actions brings temporary relief, but soon the exhaustion takes over. The dizziness intensifies, turning my loud, gut-wrenching sobs into quiet, desperate whimpers. My body feels like it's been through a battle, and I'm left feeling utterly defeated and broken.

I rest my head between my arms on the steering wheel when I can't take watching the world spin around me anymore.

I don't know why you're freaking out. You've slept in the car before. You're being dramatic.

I try to ignore the voice and remind myself that I'm not being dramatic. I try to tell myself what I would tell anyone else in my situation; you're feeling are valid, it makes sense that you feel this way, try to think on the bright side. Nothing works.

All I feel is this pit in my stomach of dread. Because eventually, I'm going to have to go home, I cant sleep in my car forever and winter is approaching fast. And when I do, I'm going to be punished for taking so long.

I'm just drained and I want to go to sleep.

My entire body feels heavy and I decide against getting into the backseat because I don't think my legs would hold me up long enough to get there.

I recline my seat as low as it will go and try to fall asleep but I can't. The sun is blaring in directly into my face so instead of using my hoodie as a pillow like I had planned, I use it to cover my eyes and drift off to sleep.

҉

My head snaps up when I hear knocking. Conduction fills my brain but I ignore it and go back to bed. It's finally dark out.

It's finally dark out?

I hear the tap again, and this time I turn to look at my window. My heart stops when I see a man staring at me. I jump up from my seat I make sure the doors are locked but when I see a familiar mop of blond hair, I relax. "Maya?" He asks.

I open my door and step out to talk to him. "Micah? What are you doing here?" I observe the trash bag in his hands as he motions to the dumpster a few feet in front of my car.

"I was heading out after my shift and some one told me there was a person sleeping back here... you're not supposed to do that." He eyes me with confusion, "why where yo-"

"You're done your shift? What time is it?" My eyes go wide, in the realization that Micah has always been in while I was at work.

"2:30." He answers, pulling open the dumpster lid get rid of his trash bag.

"Oh my god." I mumble to myself. As I begin the path to the front door. "I slept through my shift."

By the time Micah has caught up to me, he's opening the door for me to walk through. I scan the place until my eyes land on Ana.