Final Love

why?

back to roses pov :0

cw. angst? tw. sensitive topics: drug use, alcoholism, self harm, toxic relatonship, disguised homophobia 

I woke up in the morning with a horrible headache. I drank to much yesterday and it was definitely showing. I rubbed my forehead then continued to enjoy the warm comfort of lineah laying in my arms. I don't really remember what happened yesterday. the only thing I could recall was that sam was here, nothing else really. I decided to get up to get myself some painkillers. lineah was still sleeping so I moved her over carefully not to was her and slowly got up from the bed ''where are you going?'' she scared me because I thought I was successful in not waking her, her voice sounded very sleepy and soft. ''ill be back in a minute, just wanna get some pills and water'' I smiled and walked to the bathroom I searched for the pills in the medicine cabinet when I finally found them I took the pills and downed a whole glass of water.then went back to the bedroom. she was laying there. she just looked so effortlessly pretty. I crawled back in bed and pulled the covers over me. I didn't know if I just should go back to cuddling her so I just decided not to and turned my back to her, I could feel my headache slowly getting better so I relaxed, when I suddenly felt a cold pair of hands reach around my waist ''Jesus Christ your hands are cold as fuck!'' I said and tuned my head slightly. she giggled, it was so cute ''yes I know they always are'' she closed her arms around me and curled up closer. ''are you okay? what did you take pills for?'' I could feel her warm breath against my back ''just a headache, I think I went a little overboard with the drinking yesterday'' I touched her arm. the rest of her was comfortingly warm. just her hands were cold. ''we'll roll be better soon its just a hangover''  she was probably right. I fell asleep again.

 when I woke up she wasn't in bed anymore, I trew on a pair of shorts and walked to the living room.  she was sitting on the couch with the cat chilling with her, she was on her phone ''finally up? its already 4pm'' I laid down my head facing her. ''oh I didn't know it was already that late, my headache is better tho'' ''thats good'' she ran on elf her hands trough my hair and I looked up. ''mile seems to like you more then she likes me'' I reached  up to pet her and she meowed ''I bet she likes you more, but we cuddled all day she's so friendly'' ''well normally she isn't really, she dosent like most of my friends and not even my parents but I guess she seems to like you'' she smiled and gave her a little kiss on her head. ''imma go brush my teeth'' I got up and walked towards the. bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. I also decided to have. shower because maybe that would make me feel better too. I went to get some new clothes and got dressed to then sit with lineah again, ''you should go eat too'' ''I'm not hungry'' I said ''yes but its not good if you skip out meals, I know you're not feeling the best but its important'' she looked worried for me'' don't worry ill be fine, if I go eat ill get sicker, did you eat tho?'' she looked at me ''yeah I did I ant go that long without eating, I thought I should wait for you but you decided to get up sooo late'' '' sorry'' I laughed ''you don't have to wait for me the next time though, just eat whenever you feel like it here" "alright then" she trew her head back not the backrest, we spend the time talking and watching tv for hours 2 "its already 11pm and we did noting all day" "we ll do something tomorrow" 

there was a knock on the door  " are you expecting someone today too?" I shook my head, who is that?I opened the door. it was sam but he was clearly on something. he stumbled right into my apartment and flopped himself on my couch "hello to you too sam what the hell are you doing here?" he kicked off his shoes "I wanna talk to you you know" not again. I knew that some type of bullshit would come out of his mouth again  that he probably dosent even mean and would forget in the morning. either something shitty that will complete ruin you mood or he fucked up again. he has always had issues with drugs and alcohol, drugs more then alcohol but both was horrible, I've known h since daycare. his issues started in 8th grade. "what did you take sam?" "stop getting on my nerves I didn't take shit" he looked around the room "why is she still here?he meant lineah, thats the moment where I should've send her out of the room. jut for her own saftey, knowing she's sensitive, but I didn't. " I told you she lives here yesterday" I was starting to get pissed off why did he have to be so shitty sometimes? he's usually a great and good friend, my best friend, but as soon as he uses or just drinks to much he gets so aggressive and rude making me wish to never talk to him again. "what do you wanna talk about? also how did you get here?" " drove here" "drove here like how? car? why the fuck would you di that if you know you're under influence? you know you're putting others in danger-" "shut up I can stand  your annoying yapping bitch" he waved me off with his hand "watch how your talking to me what did you wanna say" I noticed lineah was starting to get scared, obviously she met him yesterday being totally nice and now he's just being shitty, she's probably not used to this. "sam." I said again he oped his eyes and looked at me "so what I wanted to say was,," he sat up from his weird laying position " I like think that this girl there shouldnt stay here idk I like her but I don't know she's weird" he did a waxing motion at lineah. I was confused "what?" "you heard me, you're being weird about her. all this "I like her meh, I like her bleh" just no. I liked the other one more  you know Charlotte? yeah she gave some sense to you." Charlotte was my ex. I dated her last year. she was the worst relationship I had. she would yell and just cheated on me. the sense he was talking about is that every time I used to be affectionate infront of others shed tell me to stop. gifts, physical contact, saying I love her or just in general anything that would give it away we were more then friends was a rule braker. we were just friends who lived together  nothing more. ever. she also didn't allow me to ask about her in  way that would give away that I like her, to no-one, sam knew. she wasn't open about her sexuality liking girls was a no go to her too. because its gross and unnatural  to everyone else she was just a straight girl that was attracted to men and men only. "Charlotte was horrible you know how I felt." " no I think it was better no-one needs to know what you think about others. especially not if its her " he pointed at lineah "Samuel   keep this shit to yourself Okay I don't need to know that either." I was getting mad all the shit was so unneseary I know he dosent mean it but why? I mean why did he have to come here? why was he so different from when he's on influence to when he's without? " mean look at her? yes she's pretty or whatever but is she perfect? that can't be the person you like. id get tired of her so quick" he kept on ranting about everything that is "wrong" with her  i tried to stop him but  he just kept talking. I looked back at lineah. she was still sitting there but now she was crying. that were I had enough. I stated yelling at him full blown he should just shut up. I was so sick of this shit. he started yelling back at me too. I didnt realise that lineah was no longer sitting there anymore. I asked him to leave, even suggested to take him home. I don't know why I was still being nice, eventually I called police on him. because he didn't leave and I was tired of him. they took him with them. they said he was going to the police staton with him to test him on drugs and alcohol. and stay there all he sobers up, depending on what he took an dhow much if it he might get charges agains him. maybe I'm not the good friend right now, but it was just to much. I decided to not file charges tho, there was no reason why I should this worser then it already is. 

after the police and Samuel were finally gone I rushed to check up on lineah I was hoping for her to not be upset or hurt in any way. I knocked on her door "lineah? can I come in" I Held on to the doorknob nervously waiting to be allowed to enter "oh- uh wait" her voice sounded extreme shaky "are you okay?" my worries got bigger " no wait a second" I could tell that she was definitely crying. "I'm coming in now" I opened to door to find her sitting one the floor holding her hand, shaking. "are you okay?" tears started pouring down her face "what did you do"  I sat down on the floor infront of her  "I'm sorry- I- it was all just to much when he said he-" "what did you do lineah just tell me"  she ket go of her arm I puled up the sleeve.i then quickly got up to rush to get bandages,  gauges and tissues to clean her up. I bandaged her arm the whole time she was apologising to me like I was the one she hurt, "stop don't worry, you got nothing to apologise for its fine I understand, he shouldt have said all of this. he's gone now okay? police picked him up" she looked at me, her eyes glossy " you called the cops on him? isn't he your friend ?" " yes he is but he was saying disgusting things and I got tired of him I don't have to deal with him. he's not doing me well" I finished wrapping up her arm. "is there more?" I asked. " no that all thank you so much you didn't have to do all of this" " I want you to be okay. pease try tell me next time? I no a professional or anything but maybe ill help you get distracted or just something" I held both of her hands in mine looking at her " im so sorry rose, I'm sorry" she started to cry again, I held her and let her cry in my arms.when she calmed down I got up "lets go to sleep" I helped her up and we walked to my room an laid in bed. I looked at her laying down infront of me "listen lineah, he didn't mean anything he said, he's not okay and definitely need s help but isn't quite far with accepting that. is way of dealing wit it is apparently whatever what was. you're perfect the way you are, there nothing wrong with you in any way. I know that what he said hurt you but try not to listen" her eyes were during up so I hugged her closer. " I like you the way you are, you are perfect for me.i couldn't wish for anyone else right now and I'm really glad I met you. I care about you despite us not knowing each other for a long time and I won't let some friend of mine tell me otherwise, he's just acting out. please remember that" I gently kissed her forehead. " thank you" she whispered. she quickly fell asleep but I was still up thinking about al that happened. why was Samuel like that? why did all of this have to happen? why did this hurt her so much and caused  her to relapse? why?