Electricity: check!
Water: check!
Internet: check!
Groceries: check!
Meds: check!
Aya's tuition (1st sem): check!
Kane's tuition (1st sem): check!
Loan deductions: check!
Aya's project: check!
Mama's checkup: check!
Savings: Maybe later ...
I am on page 64 of my notebook, a small creature that weighs heavier than a sumo wrestler, carrying every single burden I have to take care of every month. Don't get me wrong. I love my life. I love my family. I am grateful for the chance to help them. If I could do it all over again in another life, I would.
But it's been years now. Years of trying to balance a heavy baggage that never seemed to lighten even though I tried to toughen up. The years I spent carefully making my way to the finish line that always extends to the point of no reaching exhausted me. When will it end? I pray. Do I even get a shot at a solo run with no heavy baggage on my shoulders?
At times when things get a little denser, I close my eyes and imagine someone waiting for me at the finish line. There will be someone worth the run, who I can count on not to carry the load but to take it off of me, replacing it with caring hands that promises warmth and company.
I do crave that sometimes. Yet I don't have the time to process further or daydream that a man will scoop me from the ground and lift me up to a throne. I may be a Queen on paper, but I am no royalty to act like a princess and wait for a prince charming to solve all my problems because these problems are alive. These problems reproduce each day, faster than any living organism can.
But somewhere, near the finish line, although blurry at sight, his back facing me, I know he's there. But there's a ticking clock beside him. And I must reach him before the hand of the clock reaches home.
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YOU ARE READING
The Night I Wrote to the Stars
RomanceI am no ordinary woman. I have dreams bigger than my reality and responsibilities looming over me even before I opened my eyes to the world. I've got bills to pay and mountains to climb to be where I want to be before I turn 30. You ask about love...
