Her Melting Point

No Way Around It

Against all odds, he was the one who halted them.

With a sharp groan, he tore his mouth off hers and dropped his forehead on her shoulder.

"We need a bed," he muttered.

That - was like a bucket of cold water. Going to bed with anyone - that Jackie just couldn't do.

She whined and started wiggling, trying to free herself. Her body swung away from him, and he grabbed her to stop her from crashing on the floor. With her luck, she would have probably concussed herself to boot.

"Please let me go," she mewled, weakly pushing his shoulders away.

A momentary confused grimace ran across his face; and then he picked her up under her arms and rose, lifting her. Even in her current mental state, she didn't fail to notice how easily he could handle a human being of an average size. He carefully put her down, and she stumbled away from him.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she cried out and covered her mouth with her hands.

She took a shaky breath. He was peering at her, without moving.

"I don't know what came over me!" She frantically shook her head. "It's so unlike me! I don't– I don't do this! Whatever this is! And with someone so– With a pupil! And–"

"I am not your pupil," he said brusquely.

She took another step backwards.

"It just never happens to me! It's like something from a film! No one ever–" She clasped her hand over her side, over her ribs, where the scar was. "I don't know how to behave in such situations! I don't know how people–"

He continued studying her, frowning.

"Can we just forget it happened?" She huffed and rubbed her cheeks. "Blimey, you're also my landlord! I'm sorry, I'm horrible!"

"Why are you apologising?" His furrow deepened.

"Because I just went with it! I don't know what you– what you think this is," she muttered. "But I don't know how to do these things! I've never– with anyone except for my husband and Stephen! You know about Stephen, right?"

He nodded silently.

"And– It's just that you kissed me, and something–" She yanked at the collar of her jumper. "But I can't! I shouldn't–"

"Why not?" he deadpanned.

"Because you're twenty seven!" Her voice rang in frustration. "Because I'm the school's new headmistress! Because whatever this is– I don't know why you'd do something like this, but there is no good reason for someone to try to– to hook up with me! I'm not fit or progressive enough to have a– one-off with!"

"I did it because I'd wanted it since Year 10," he said calmly. "And we're obviously highly compatible. You can tell by how much we clicked. Especially for someone's first time."

Jackie felt suddenly taken aback. He seemed utterly comfortable with the topic - while she was shaking head to toe. Her body felt achy; and her skin tingled, where he'd touched her, where they'd been as if melding into each other. For goodness' sake, she still remembered the feeling of his erection under her; and the heat; and the primal, raw sensations coursing through her! And he said they'd 'clicked!'

She decided that she'd contemplate the fact that she could be considered 'compatible' with anyone, later.

"Well, that just– doesn't matter." She shook her head, stubbornly this time. "It was a mistake! I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. That I was open to this sort of a–" She decided that a 'relationship' wasn't the appropriate word. "Association."

She lifted her chin and glared at him. She needed to mend this: the misunderstanding needed to be cleared, and the question needed to be closed. She'd chastise and berate herself and ponder the error of her ways later, extensively and with a large side serving of self-loathing.

"What are you open to?" he asked.

She winced away; but he pinned her with a direct stare; and she couldn't break their eye contact.

"Jackie, I've got ASD," he said in a low voice. "Nuances are difficult. So is empathy. If you don't say it clearly, I might not understand." He pursed his lips in a hard line. "Did I misread what you wanted? I might have lost control. It's hard for me to gauge what the other person is about, especially when I'm that affected. And you affect me more than anyone."

She couldn't hold back an astounded 'oh.'

She knew, of course - that she needed to back away from it; to remind him that even if he did feel anything towards her, it was just some sort of a residual crush from his school days; that she was an unattractive middle-aged woman; and that, even if she was somehow still his 'thing,' nothing could ever happen between them.

Anything but firm stating of the above would mean she was encouraging him.

"It makes no sense," she whispered. "Why would you–"

She stopped herself - but the damage, as they say, had been done.

"Jackie." She shuddered at the sound of a gruff exhale he preceded her name with. "Did you, or did you not want it?" he asked. "Just tell me."

She strictly ordered herself to lie. He was watching her fixedly.

"I did!" she blurted out. Apparently, she was unable to follow her own instructions. "But it can never happen again! It's just– I can't!" She threw him a begging look. "I shouldn't!"

He frowned once again - and she suddenly could clearly see that he didn't understand.

"Alright," he said after a long pause.

"What?"

"Alright," he repeated. "I won't initiate it anymore. You can, if you want to," he added in a sort of a pointed caveat. "I've wanted it for twelve years. I can hold off some more." He nodded to his thoughts. "If you change your mind, I'll be here."

He sighed and bent down to pick up his bag from the floor. She hadn't noticed when one of them had taken it off him. Long muscles moved in his back, under the black jumper; and Jackie quickly looked away.

"Just so you know," he said, clicking the buckle on the cross-body strap, "it's not a 'hook-up' or a 'one-off' for me. I don't want either with you. Keep it in mind."

He headed to the door but then stopped and turned to her.

"Don't be prang," he said with a sigh. "I can keep it professional. You're still my lodger. Treat me like any other landlord you'd had. And at school as well."

"Sorry, what? What's that about school?"

Jackie had a bad feeling about this.