Dancing with the Bullets |Ao'nung x Neteyam|

Chapter 1

{Hi everyone! Small warning: this is a slow burn Ao'nung x Neteyam story in which there are themes of Neteyam x Original Metcayina Characters before the main pairing. Enjoy!}

Neteyam knows pain like no other. It is his first waking thought and the last thing on his mind before the steady arms of sleep wrap around him in a dreamless embrace. He fears he'll never be whole again, that the holes on his heart may never be stitched and the tears on his soul never mended, until the end of time.

He's always known he'll be an outcast in the eyes of the Metcayina – but he didn't think his own family would turn a blind eye to that.

It seems unfair.

He always takes care of his siblings' needs; though Lo'ak adores him for his strength and his ability to fight battles, he doesn't realise how draining that is. Kiri makes him gifts often, but never does she try to get inside his head, never comforts him, but he's sure she notices his inner battles. Tuk always clings to him, always seeks his company, but she's too young to care for his inner wounds.

Back home, in the wonderous forests and floating mountains, Neteyam had been a respected warrior even as early as fifteen years old. Here, despite keeping his status as a man, barely anyone cares about him. They don't care that he's steadily learning the ways of the Metcayina, that he excels at hunting; all they care for are his flaws.

And they don't try to hide their displeasure with him.

He may not have eyebrows and extra fingers, but he'll always be alien.
He can't hold his breath as long, cannot ride as fast on an ilu, and he certainly cannot stomach all those clams and their gooey texture – they make his stomach churn, but he has to push through during festivals and communal meals because it's what people expect of him. Neteyam does think he might be allergic to those ones in the shiny pink shells, because they make his entire mouth tingle, but he knows nobody cares about that, nor the stomach burn that follows.

They're the most common ones too. His father always gives him nasty looks if he tries to eat something a bit more on the rare side, so Neteyam simply bows his head and accepts his fate.

It's not like clams make him choke or swell his throat. He should be fine.

He does wish his parents would let him have the foods his siblings are having, secretly. It might be one of his biggest wishes, besides that beautiful Metcayina boy.

Neteyam is absolutely smitten with Ao'nung, especially now that he's passed his iknimaya and his handsome face is adorned on one side with exquisite tattoos.

These feelings are definitely Neteyam's biggest secret. And his strongest desire – but he's nobody here. He may have spent the better part of his life training to be the next Olo'eyktan, but now that's all gone. It's both a relief and a great, wide, gaping wound on Neteyam's heart.

Because as an heir, he'd have had a chance with Ao'nung; but now that is all gone, so he seeks comfort elsewhere with no intention to make the bond.

But this is secret very close to the first one; no-one can know he sleeps around. It's not shameful, but he knows he'd get in deep trouble with his parents for it, especially his father, since neither of them partake in such activities.

Or any of his siblings for that matter.
Lo'ak is absolutely smitten with Tsireya and Kiri is just simply not interested in such things. Tuk is of course, way too young.

But the thing is, Ao'nung is his best friend – Neteyam knows about every single partner he's ever had, and sometimes, very rarely, they overlap. Both Ao'nung and Neteyam had been with Reyna, not at the same time of course, but Neteyam had still been slightly weirded out by that revelation. However, Neteyam hasn't been with Nakutey, and Ao'nung wouldn't ever go near Ne'otse. Why is that? The answer is pretty simple, Ao'nung prefers to give, and Neteyam would rather receive.

Neteyam sighs softly, sitting cross legged in the sand, head hanging as he stares at the fishing net across his lap that he's fixing. There's a gaping hole in the middle, much like the one on his heart.

His father had sent him out not long before eclipse to sit by one of the torches to fix it for Tuk, since she was too tired after learning to hunt all day and fell asleep as soon as she arrived home.

Neteyam didn't protest, even though his hip cramps painfully from a particularly harsh tug from his Tsurak during his hunt that morning. It's his job to make sure his siblings have everything they need and that the burden is lifted from his parents' shoulders. He's learnt this a long time ago, as a child. Sometimes he wonders if those short few weeks that he'd been born before Kiri were really so meaningful; maybe it's just that he's the firstborn.

He can't complain, it's not fair to do so. And he doesn't want to be berated either, especially not in front of his siblings and not when he's bordering twenty. He always feels so ugly and small when his father's harsh words are directed at him. More so when they belong to his mother.

He pokes his finger with the needle and bites back a startled hiss, inspecting the little drop of blood on his fingertip, looking almost black in the dim light.

"Careful, forest boy," a soft voice laughs quietly behind him before a shadow falls over his hunched frame. "You're going to hurt yourself."

Neteyam purses his lips and glances up at Ao'nung, watching the Metcayina settle down beside him on the cooling sands. Ao'nung nudges their shoulders together with a fanged grin, flat, lazy tail swishing around behind him, stirring up a slight cloud of sand.

"I'm fine," Neteyam huffs; he wants to joke around, but he's so exhausted.

Ao'nung tilts his head, silly grin fading to a smile; he's changed a lot, matured, but he still favours his hair in the bun. "If you're so tired, why aren't you sleeping?"

Neteyam merely shrugs, teeth worrying at the tender skin of his lower lip. "My father asked me to fix Tuk's net. She'll probably want to use it in the morning."

Ao'nung's gaze flitters over Neteyam's features, trailing to his hands and his bleeding finger. "She could have borrowed one."

"It's fine, I don't mind fixing it for her," Neteyam hums, dabbing the blood away on his loincloth before resuming his work. "What are you doing up so late?"

Ao'nung glances back towards the tropical forests and allows a lazy smirk, leaning back on his hands and staring up at the twinkling night sky. "I met up with Reyna."

Neteyam looks at him from the corner of his eye and nods slowly. "Had fun?"

Ao'nung jerks his shoulders and juts out his lower lip in a silly pout. "She says she misses you."

Neteyam snorts in amusement, some of his energy returning to him the more time he spends with Ao'nung by his side. "Are you jealous?"

At this, the Metcayina flicks Neteyam's cheek lightly with a finger and sticks his tongue out. "Of course not. Sharing is caring, baby tail. Don't you know?"

Neteyam rolls his eyes, a sweet smile gracing his features. "Sounds like you're jealous."

Ao'nung huffs, glancing to the side sheepishly. "Fine, maybe a little."

Neteyam clicks his tongue, leaning his head on Ao'nung's strong shoulder – he rarely allows himself to do such things. "I knew it."

"Of course," Ao'nung grunts, patting the top of Neteyam's head. "Cause you know everything."

"Maybe."